A Round Trip to Love V4 C5

Shen Chao infamously said, and I quote: “Beautiful women are meant to be romanced – a man who only hopes to have a purely friendly relationship with her, can only mean one of two things – he has either psychological or physical problems.”

Judging from my immaculate record of satisfying women with my performance in bed, I have never considered myself to have any problems physiologically.

So these platonic moments between Su Xiao Lu and me can justifiably be attributed to me having some sort of psychological problem. As the wise words of Shen Chao sums up in the aftermath: “You must be out of your mind right? You had a beautiful chick by your side and you actually did not bed her, but only chatted with her the whole night?”

I felt perplexed by myself too. I class this sort of pretentious gentlemanly behaviour as the most hypocritical – a man trying to befriend a beautiful woman, who is he trying to bluff?

However, that night after calling out Su Xiao Lu, we indeed did not do anything besides chatting, and even after she left I could not even recall if she was wearing a pair of pants or a skirt.

Savouring a bottle of red wine over three hours, the conversation was by and large nothing worth remembering, except for one particular confirmation from Su Xiao Lu: “Yi Chen hasn’t dated any girls since college, just look at his cold and heartless front, does he look like someone who had suffered a major emotional blow?”

“Qin Lang, I’ve noticed that you’ve been very interested in Yi Chen’s affairs lately! Could it be some girl in your department has fallen for him and asked for your help to dig him out?” Su Xiao Lu inclined her head to look at me, a face full of sauciness: “Yi Chen is very attractive guy, in our own department itself, countless girls are waiting in line to have a chance with him, you probably won’t get the chance to lure him away anytime soon!”

“Yeah, yeah!” I was busy nodding my head: “I understand!”

The ring that he treasures so much is perhaps some heirloom handed down from his grandparents? I do not think I am mistaken though, since I clearly heard him confess that it was a gift from his lover.

I am not going to care so much, it is none of my business anyway, whether he suffers from schizophrenia or not. Every time I see him, I ended up adding on a couple more injuries to my bod, so the best strategy now is to avoid him as much as possible.

Those strange emotions that is popping out of nowhere recently is however, making me anxious. It does not help that the only solution to assuage those emotions is to either run into a lively Cheng Yi Chen at school, or better still, engage in an argument with him.

As such, my frequency of visits to the school campus increased with me tucking a book under my arm to the basketball court, the cafeteria, the library and all other likely places that I might encounter that brat. It all turned out in vain so far as he is busy drawing all day nestled up inside his own classroom, not gracing the public with even view of his face.

Any excuses to go to his classroom to find him is exhausted now that the two CDs are in his hands. Moreover, the lingering pain in my stomach serves as a constant reminder that tricking him is never the best idea.

While I was pondering all these in my head, the elderly professor said to me bemusedly: “Qin Lang, could it be you have finally discerned some urgency now that you are getting close to graduation? Skipping classes used to be a specialty of yours, but now I can see you’ve been running around the classrooms quite a bit, so here are some papers for you to complete by next week!”

Write a thesis? And all in English? God, please just strike me with a thunderbolt right here and now! My face scrunched in misery, I forced myself to go through the thesis topic. Since this professor had the power in his hands to determine my life and death, i.e, whether I get to graduate or not, I resigned to the prospect of squatting in the library for the next few days looking up those English words who are as foreign to me as can possibly be.

Day turns to night and finally a familiar number appears on the screen of my mobile accompanied by the unmistakeable ringing tone of a Samsung phone.

Shen Chao, my good brother, you finally sensed that my life is currently worse than death, and you have come to rescue me? Good, tonight I shall have an excuse not to write, and run over to accompany you for the all important task of drinking and having a jolly time.

The moment the call is connected, I was hit by a barrage of words: “Qin Lang, if you are free please come over quickly, your friend by the last name Cheng, is lying here like a corpse, I am wondering where I can toss his drunken ass away. Do you want to come over and identify the body?”

“He’s there drinking again?” I froze: “Isn’t he busy catching up on his drawings? Su Xiao Lu said they have to hand it in in a few days time, so how is he able to go over?”

“How would I know?” Shen Chao exclaimed in an impatient voice: “Looks like he’s about to lose it, crying himself blind, the other customers must be wondering if we are filming a tragic romance drama! I rang you to ask if you got his home address? So I can call up a hire car to get him out of here!”

“No! Just watch him for me for a while, I’m coming over right now!” I yelled hurriedly, not even grabbing my school bag, and rushed to the school entrance to flag down a cab, the beatings in my heart going out of control – what the hell is wrong with this kid again! Every couple of days, he has got to act up and cry? Has he got nothing better the fuck to do?

By the time the cab arrived at Shen Chao’s bar, the driver’s face had almost turned completely green, and he must be surprised that his humble saloon is able to outrace even a Ferrari. I tossed him the fare that included a massive tip at him and ran into the bar.

“Where’s Shen Chao?” Frantically looking around and not finding what I am there to look for, I pulled a fellow aside to ask.

“Boss is in the office, a guest was really drunk, so the boss helped him in!”

Fortunately Shen Chao still had some humanity in him, and did not attempt to abandon a corpse on the streets.

“Hey! How is he?” Pushing aside the office door in a hurry, the pungent stench of alcohol immediately hit my senses.

“Looking at the symptoms this time, this attack does not appear to be a mild one!” Shen Chao’s hand pointed towards the slouching person on the sofa and sighed as he reiterated his schizophrenic theory.

“Was he like this as soon as he arrived? Or did something happen to him?” I looked towards the direction of Shen Chao’s finger, and on the messy sofa, Yi Chen’s drunken self was huddled up into a ball.

“Probably aggravated by something! My staff told me that this fellow came, sat for a few minutes and the tears began trickling down, and after a few drinks, it was full-on waterworks!”

“Damn it, who is that bitch who’s enjoying making a fool of him so much! Making him cry every other day, is this ever coming to an end?” I cursed and swore, a leg swinging out to give a heavy kick onto Shen Chao’s desk for added effect. The sudden sound startled Shen Chao, and the sleeping Cheng Yi Chen seemed to regain some form of consciousness. His eyebrows knitted tightly together, his mouth murmuring something indistinct. If one were to make a careful distinction, it would be somewhere along the lines of “don’t leave me”, so on and so forth.

“Shen Chao please lend me your car, I will send him back myself!” Feeling slightly calmer after that flare of rage, I turned my head around to request Shen Chao for the car keys.

“You be careful!” Seeing my agitated look, Shen Chao is cautious against persuading me further. He added while passing me the keys: “Hey Qin Lang, it is not as if he is borrowed your money just to go drinking, why do you have to get yourself into such a knot?”

“I ……” I flinched with my mouth open: “I just fucking can’t stand the sight of this! This guy is a good looking fellow himself, why did this girl have to make him cry again and again?”

“Heh!” Shen Chao could not help but laugh out, “Is there a lack of girls who have shed tears over you? Qin Lang you have the nerve to say this?” Seeing my lips stammering and obviously teetering on the edge of pure exasperation, he immediately shoved the car keys into my hands with a coaxing smile: “Alright, alright, send him back, don’t drive too fast, remember safety is number one!”

“Humph, count yourself lucky you dodged a beating from me!” I glared at him, squatting down to help the drunken Yi Chen over my shoulders, and asked in as calm a voice as possible: “Hey! Where do I take you back to? Do you live in the school dormitory or elsewhere?”

“You might get a better response from a tree, come, I’ll help you hold him while you ask his acquaintances whether they know where he lives.” Shen Chao looked at me with an expression of sympathy for my seeming lack of intelligence, while simultaneously shifting Yi Chen to his shoulders and handing the phone to me. I thought about it, dialed Su Xiao Lu’s number, and spoke straight to the point.

“Do you have Yi Chen’s home address?” Probably not being used to hearing the brusque side of me, Su Xiao Lu reported the address with some trepidation, and then cautiously asked, “Qin Lang, why are you asking for his address, did something happened?”

“He’s drunk and I’m about to send him home!” My tone was blunt and my words concise.

“Drunk?” She sounded surprised: “I just saw him this afternoon and he was fine, he even said he will be working through the night on his drawing, oh, and Yi Chen doesn’t even drink!”

“How do I know what kind of madness have taken over him?” Not in the mood for anymore small talk, I hung up the phone, lifted the drunk lying Shen Chao’s arms and settled him into the back seat of the car.

“I hope he doesn’t throw up in my car!” Shen Chao looked pitifully at his precious car.

“I can’t guarantee that!” My inexplicable anger having no avenue to direct at, I coldly grunted, stepped on the gas pedal and scampered out.

There are not many people or cars out on the streets at this time of the night, and I sped along while Cheng Yi Chen lie in the backseats occasionally mumbling some words: “…… the wind …… is so cold ……”

Darn it, you are still conscious enough to know that it is windy and cold, huh? I thought you are so drunk and unaware of everything? Whilst cursing in my head, I wind up the car windows, took off my jacket and threw it at him.

He felt something, grabbed my jacket like a lifeline and wrapped it tightly around himself.

“Are you okay?” I twisted my head around to look at him – although I hated this pathetic look of his, but there was still an unexplainable pain in my heart to see this fragile posture.

There were no reply, and the body underneath that jacket of mine was shivering in a heart wrenching sight.

I’ve had enough! I do not care who that stinking lady is, even if I had to tie her up and bring her over to you, I will do it as long as you stop being the way you are now! I groaned in silence. Having set my mind to do exactly that, I turned my head back to the road and is instantly startled by the sight of a huge black shadow in front of the car, slamming on the brakes and broke out in an instantaneous cold sweat. It was only the shadow of a tree. At the same time, I heard a muffled sound by behind, Yi Chen has rolled from the back seat to land on the floor of the car from the sudden braking.

“Are you hurt?” I hurriedly pulled the car to the side, opened the door and got into the back seat to help him back onto the seats.

“It’s okay, it’s okay now, we’re almost home!” The scare dispersed most of my anger. I stroked his head and prepared to return to the driver’s seat.

“Hmmm ……” Just as I was pulling open the back seat door to leave, he suddenly tugged softly on my sleeve.

“What’s wrong Yi Chen? Did you bump yourself somewhere?” I sat back down beside him to see where he might have hurt himself.

“You …… don’t go ……” Before I could examine him, his hand had already hooked over, tenderly hugging me with his face rubbing on my neck.

What the fuck, he is not dreaming that I am the woman he is pining for, is he? I brushed his hand away in a startle.

“You …… please hold me ……” As I was about to pull away, I heard these words loud and clear. I could instantly feel my head resonate with a buzz.

What did he say? He said he wanted me to hug him? So he knows that the person before his eyes is a man? In other words, he did not mistake me for that woman? He knows I am not that woman?

“Yi Chen, you…… didn’t pass out, did you?” The aroma of wine came in bursts assaulting my nostrils, yet he smiled at me foolishly as his hands wrapped tighter around me. In the midst of this confusion, there was only one thing I knew for certain, and that is, my heart is pounding on my chest ever quicker.

“…… Hold me ……” he kept on repeating with his eyes half closed, the hands that had been wrapped around me loosened and reached around my waist, clumsily unbuckling my belt.

“Yi Chen …… look clearly, I am a man ……” Hot flames of desire have already sprang up inside me. My own trembling voice served as a last vestige of reminder, not just to him, but also to myself, to preserve the last bit of sanity.

“I know ……,” he is slurring his words, “Since a long time ago …. but do you know …… I love you …… I have always loved you ……”

I had already pressed down hard on his lips to block out the last few words being mumbled. All the pent-up anxiety, all the depression, all the uneasiness, completely disappeared in his last words.

He said love!

It was only at the exact moment he said it that I suddenly realized that the trance-like emotions that I had been feeling for him can be rightly defined as being falling in love. The only reason I have not recognised it until now is because we are both males.

So you have been drinking like a helpless drunk, suffering so much just because you love me? You silly boy. Do you not know that I love you too, I also love you so much since the beginning.

From the first time I saw you in the bar, the way you sang so defiantly; the first time I kissed you, you were too nervous to open your eyes and your entire body is trembling all over; the way you hugged your favourite CDs and jumped in boyish joy; when we were in front of the school, you pouted your mouth, so reluctant to buy those cotton candy yet could not help but to oblige to my request …… I have already fallen in love with you.

The face in front of me may have closed its eyes slightly because of the exhausting confession, but the corners of its mouth revealed a sweet curve from my deep kiss. I lifted my head slightly, and my fingers gently scraped his thin cheeks. When did this silly child become so thin? Although he still had a pretty pointed face, his cheeks were a little puffy at the cheeks, looking like he is ready to throw a tantrum. Being reminded of that cute look, I could not help but reach over and gently bite on his cheek.

“En ……” his nose grunted and his legs automatically wrapped around my waist.

“Yi Chen ……” I turned my attention to his ear, biting his warm earlobe at times roughly, and at times gently: “I haven’t done it with a man before, I don’t know how to ….. but with you, I’ll be very, very gentle ……”

The rich air conditioning in the carriage steamed the air intoxicatingly warm, and I was strangely touched, clutching the half-drunk boy in my arms. Gradually, his pants were carefully removed by me, and his long, slender, white, long legs wrapped softly around me.

“Yi Chen, you relax!” I held back the wild jumping in my heart and instinctively searched for the warm and wet hole between his legs.

“Ah!” The instant my heart’s desire entered into him, he screamed out in a low voice, his distorted expression a clear indication of my poor technique, but the smile pulling out of the corners of his lips also told me he was happy in his heart.

“Yi Chen …… I will move slowly …… you bear with it for a little ……” My bodily movements, accustomed to the body of a female, and my technique honed to please a woman, now has no room to show off to a teenager whose body structure is exactly the same as mine.

I never knew that sex with the same gender can be as ecstatic as this. I tightened my grip on his waist and pounded harder, probing deeper and deeper each time.

He moaned intermittently, swinging his waist in rhythm with mine, trying to meet my thrusting.

Because I love him, right!

It’s because I love him?

This is the first time I am in union with a person that causes me to be so excited that I am on the verge of going crazy – a blissful pleasure such that I had never felt from any girls.

The moment my lustful desire spurted out, I fell back atop him with a heavy gasp, running my hands through his completely sweaty hair, kissing him delicately, my heart filled with pleasure.

My teasing were me finding the opportunity to touch him, to kiss those sweet red lips. Even if that came with the price of suffering from a punch or two to the stomach, I was ever so willing. He got himself dead drunk in a bar, was mistaken by me to miss someone, and that caused so much angst, worry, and anxiety to well up in my heart. His tearful appearance can make the usual bright smiles to dampen, but his occasional meek smile can also disperse the dark clouds of my mood.

“Yi Chen are you very tired?” I asked, kissing his skinny spine as I watched him so exhausted that he does not even have the strength to open his eyes.

“Yeah.” He replied with a grunt through his nose.

“Now I’ll bring you home and get you into bed!” I wrapped him up, kissed his forehead, reluctantly climbed back into the driver’s seat, and drove toward his house with a perpetual grin on my face.

His extreme fatigue cannot be exaggerated. I will let him sleep well tonight, tomorrow when he gets up, I will be greet him a fragrant cup of coffee, and put on his favorite CD.

The journey seems to become so much shorter now that I have fallen into such a pleasant mood, and by the time we arrived at his place, he had fallen into a deep sleep.

“Did I really make you this exhausted? Look at the way you are sleeping ……” I carried him out from the back seat, lightly kissed the tip of his nose. The thin jacket is covered loosely, exposing his petite shoulders with all those scarlet marking, evidently ambiguous traces that I left behind.

“Tonight I will stay here to take care of you, tomorrow when you wake, you better thank me, sing me a beautiful song as a reward!” I giggled at the sleeping man while digging into his coat pocket to get the keys to the door.

“Who is it? Coming at this hour?” My rustling at the door searching for the keys seemed to have alerted someone in the apartment. The lights came on and someone walked towards the door. What? Isn’t Yi Chen living alone? He has a roommate to share the apartment? His current state of semi-undress is a bit of a problem. Also, that lazy and proud voice I just heard calling out sounds so familiar. I frowned and had a vague sense of foreboding.

The door opened. Light shines forth and a familiar face with an expression full of surprise is revealed – thick eyebrows with a proud sharpness, slanted to the temples, bulging cheeks, and that clean and sexy demeanour ……

“Yi Chen? How come it’s you?” To the man standing by the door, I was so stunned I could have lost my voice, yet I shouted out. Then I looked at the person who is asleep in my arms – they are two eerily similar faces.

And the teenager at the door, took a look at the scene in front of him, and stood frozen.

A Round Trip to Love V4 C4

Feeling uncharacteristically uncomfortable for several days, I lost the mood to even pick up girls. After giving it some thoughts, I dialed the number to Su Xiao Lu’s phone and after patiently conversing in some senseless sweet talking, I finally found an excuse to ask about Cheng Yi Chen.

“Is there anything unusual about Yi Chen lately? I haven’t noticed anything? He’s still his usual lively and bubbly self. Very soon their architectural design plans are going to come to fruition, so they’re most likely going to be pulling all nighters for these few nights!”

I have no reasons to ask further questions as Su Xiao Lu’s words have not an ounce of uncertainty, so I hung up the phone after a few more perfunctory words.

It is hard for me to imagine that this guy can be so profound and secretive that even the observant Su Xiao Lu is unable to detect any slightest abnormality in him. However, since he has to be occupied with his drawings for the next few nights, at the very least he would not be going to a bar getting himself dead drunk.

Come to think of it, he is staying up all night? Well it is not as if I have anything better to do anyway, I might as well pop by to see how he is doing.

Uncertain as to the extent of his schizophrenic symptoms right now, and not eradicating the possibility that he is at that stage where his hot-tempered side is prevalent, I run a real risk of either being killed by a death glare or being kicked to death. For self-preservation, I decided to bring along the two CDs that he picked out the last time so that when the time calls for it, I might be able to pull them out to coax him, making a difference between life and death.

The Faculty of Architecture is the only department in the school in which the students have the privilege of keeping the lights on until dawn, and the architectural students are also the only ones who are allowed to stay out all night, so whenever the building security guards were to ask, they only need to brush them off with a hurried “I’m in a rush today” to get through. When I got to the front of the building, I met a girl with severe dark circles under her eyes. This reminded me to find the time to advise Su Xiao Lu to transfer to another department as soon as possible, and that a beautiful girl like herself should not be studying architecture. Otherwise, give it another couple of years, even if she does not become a panda, she will become a wilted flower.

“Hey, I’d like to ask which classroom Cheng Yi Chen is in.” I had on my signature charm of a smile on my face, and the desired effect of it is soon revealed by the sudden energy that bounced into the exhausted eyes of the girl as she enthusiastically offered the following information: “The freshman year classrooms are on the second floor, you go up this flight of stairs, and he should be in the first classroom on the left!”

I arrived at a large classroom packed full of people, all of them with their heads buried in. Sweeping my eyes around, I spotted Cheng Yi Chen sitting on a table by the window, wearing his baseball cap as usual, looking handsome with his earplugs in, his head motioning along to the beats of the music he is listening to.

“Hey!” I walked over to him and slapped him on the back, pulling out one of his earplugs, “What are you listening to?”

“Why are you here?” The sudden appearance of my enlarged face right in front of his eyes startled him, and after registering that it was me, he actually got a little overwhelmed, pausing and stumbling a few times to even speak.

“Jesus! You crank it up that loud even for heavy metal rock?” I rubbed on my ear drums that nearly got shattered, “You can concentrate on your drawing while listening to this kind of music?”

“What business is it of yours?” He finally got his old vibe back, raising his chin and looking at me with the usual flare of arrogance: “Sis Xiao Lu’s classroom is upstairs, if you want to find her, you are at the wrong place.”

“Who said I’m seeking her out?” I smiled like a scoundrel and aimed at him with impunity, “I’m here specifically to find you!”

It might have been a very casual remark, but he actually lowered his head instantly, and the shadow cast by the brim of his cap covered most of the surface of his face, but the pinkish blush appearing on his cheeks were obvious enough for me to accurately decipher that this boy is shy.

“What’s wrong? Are you ignoring me?” I playfully swiped up his hair to take a closer look at his face.

“Stop it!” He clasped my wrist with his hand, clenched into a fist looking like he is ready to rain punches on me.

“Okay, okay, relax, your classmates are watching!” I nuzzled around and pulled out the CD, “You forgot to take it last time.”

“Did you come here just to deliver this?” He asked me with a sniffle of his nose and a tilt of his head.

“Yes! On that day, I promised to lend it to you. I didn’t expect you to take off so quickly?” I made sure to deliberately emphasize the words ‘that day’ and lowered my voice to an ambiguous tone, successfully eliciting a look of shame and annoyance from him. I smirked at him while realising that the kiss must have affected him quite a bit, for him to remember it until now.

“What are you smirking at?” Looking at my amused expression, he probably wanted to fling the CD at my face, but instead he simply grunted in frustration and turned his head in order not to look directly at me. Seeing that I have no intention of leaving anytime soon, he asked somewhat pugnaciously, “You’re still not leaving?”

“Where’s your gratitude, I made the trip to deliver your CDs, and even missed my dinner, not only did you not invite me for dinner, but you kept pushing me away?” I persisted on, feeling a growing sense of self-satisfaction.

“Are you serious?” With a resigned glance at me, he finally put away his earplugs and said, “Fine, come along, I’ll buy you dinner!”

Oh my, this kid is so gullible, I could fool him of his sympathy with just a few words! I threw a big smile at an oversized girl who has been eyeing me the entire time and walked out quickly after him.

“I didn’t know you possess such strong resilience! I assume you are okay now, right?” Seeing him stride along briskly, I sighed at the thought of how gloomy he looked with that ring in his hand just a few days ago.

“No!” His unexpected reply caught me by surprise, “It meant nothing to me, I don’t even care, it’s not as if I’m a woman!”

Huh? It took me a good while to realize that we were not on a similar wavelength. I was referring to the incident at the bar with him and the incessant tears, but he mistook my words for that half-hearted excuse of a kiss.

It is so obvious that it bothered him so much, yet he wants to play it cool? How cute.

“Well that’s good then!” I laughed, wondering if it is true for me too, and continued to ask, “Actually, I was going to ask about that ring ……”

“Stop rambling, what do you want to eat?” He was not even paying attention to what I was saying and stood there glancing around at the school entrance, locking his eyebrows revealing a look of indecisiveness.

“You are the host and you want me to think of a place?” Looking around I shook my head, “Then whatever I like to eat, you must buy it for me!”

“Okay, okay!” He urged, “Just say what you want.”

“Okay, that one then!” I held back my laughter and pointed with my hand, “That cotton candy store over there, I like that, get that for me. It’s just going to take you a while to queue up for it!”

“ You are doing this on purpose!” It goes without saying that he knew I was making things difficult for him on purpose. With such a huge group of teenage girls queuing there, it seems so unlikely he will join in the crowd.

“You see, it was you yourself who said that you will buy it, and now you’re going back on your word, hey ……” I sighed and carried on teasing: “Trust me to come all the way to send you a CD……”

“Alright, alright, I’ll get it!” He growled at me in frustration, hung his head, looked around to check that there are no one he knows, then stepped up to join the group of teen girls.

He really went? Haha, seeing him standing there awkwardly and displaying such embarrassment while standing there glaring at me, I had such a hard time suppressing my laughter that my face almost went into stitches. A little girl patted him gently: “Big Brother, can you pass me the cotton candy? I can’t reach it.” He flinched at first, then bent over good-naturedly to pass her the cotton candy. His kind act set the precedent for all the other little girls standing at the back of the line to start chirping to him for help. I stood with my head tilted to the side watching him, my initial teasing mood slowly replaced with a moving emotion. He smiled at the little children baring a set of pearly white teeth with little sharp fangs in the corners of his mouth, his soft hair tussling in the glow of sunset with a tinge of golden colour. Those little faces with cotton candies hanging all over the corners of their face, and he does not even seem to care, and while no one is paying attention, he quickly stuck out his tongue to gently lick it away.

Look at his reaction, that cotton candy must be very sweet! I licked my own lips subconsciously, to the point where I was genuinely tempted to have some myself.

“Hey! Here you go!” Finally, when he was done with those children’s charity work, he walked back carrying a stick of cotton candy.

“Won’t you take a look at that, did the boss give you a 20% discount after all the business you’ve generated from just standing around there?” I teased him.

“Huh?” He did not answer, busy wiping away the candy strands stuck to his face.

“Why did you only buy one? Aren’t you going to have some yourself?” I held the candy up to him and waved it around in front of him.

“Who’s as childish as you are, eating this kind of kid’s stuff!” He cocked an eyebrow in disdain.

“Alas! That’s a shame, it’s sweet!” I pretended to take a lick and was thinking about how I was going to throw this humiliating thing away without him noticing when I heard a small hesitant voice, “Really?”

“Of course, if you don”t believe me, why don’t you taste it?” I blurted out. He is not seriously getting excited over this girlie snack, is he?

“No, I won’t!” The pupils of his eyes made a sweeping motion, and he appeared to have made up his mind, “It’s so embarrassing even to be caught holding one of these!”

“Oh! That can be easily fixed!” I suppressed a smile and pulled him towards a small stream by the school. After a few minutes, the crowd thinned out, with only the odd couples standing around.

“Look at this, no one’s here! You can eat without feeling embarrassed! I will definitely not go around publicizing the fact that there are handsome freshmen quietly hiding out to eat cotton candy!” I finally snapped and laughed.

“Idiot! You dragged me here just to make fun of me?” Being brought here by me, he who never quite understood the situation became even more pissed off when he saw me laughing, “Since there’s no one here, it’s just perfect, I’ll just kill you and throw you into the river, and no one would be the wiser!”

“Alright, alright, I’ll stop teasing you!” Seeing him starting to roll up his sleeves in an air of aggression, I quickly apologized soothingly, “I promise I would never tell anyone!” Seeing him soften a bit, I took it a bit further, “At most, I’ll just put up a poster to advertise it!”

“Qin Lang, you’re looking for death!” He took a step up and tried to grab me by the collar, I ducked and shoved him, making him back away. His body hit a willow tree behind him and he swung a fist at me, the impact causing the cotton candy in my hand to land gloriously on the ground.

“Look at you, you wasted it!” I laughed as I looked at him, and he looked a little panicked under my gaze, and stared aimlessly at the poor cotton candy: “It’s quite a shame, it was so sweet ……”

“You haven’t tried it, how do you know it’s sweet ……” I reached out and lifted his chin to keep his eyes from dodging away, forcing him to look at me while I called his name in serious tone, “Yi Chen ……”

His Adam’s apple moved as if he was swallowing with difficulty, and his face turned slightly to the side to avoid me.

“Are you afraid?” I pressed my face closer to his, my fingers tenderly hovering over his slightly open lips. This was the first time I had ever gazed at his face so closely. An air of youth, as if the years have not even vaguely taken away any childishness. A thick set of eyebrows with a proud sharpness, slanting to the temples. His tiny nose twitching from nervousness, and the delicate skin exuding a pureness. It is a sexiness that is clean and undefiled, yet stirring up a desire in me that set my heart beating quickly, replacing the joking mood I was in.

“Taste it, then you will know how sweet it is ……” I spoke in a near murmur, while keeping a tight hold on his small head, I leaned forward to capture a thick kiss. Just as our tongues touched, he trembled violently like an electric shock, and his hands, which had been hanging down, involuntarily wrapped around me.

The temperature of my body increases, as I kept up the pressure of the kiss, deepening it. Unlike the last sloppy attempt of a kiss, my tongue now searches his mouth eagerly, pulling at his tiny tongue and tangling it tightly together.

So sweet! It’s so sweet!

While the kiss is ever so deep, his eyes which had been slightly closed, suddenly opened. Immediately following that, I felt a sharp pain from a fist to my stomach.

“What’s wrong with you? Is it not sweet enough, huh?” I may have doubled over in pain, but I have not forgotten to tease him.

“I’m warning you, you try pulling this trick again and I’ll really beat you to death!” He leaned against the tree gasping for air and wiping his lips in agitation

“Didn’t you say it doesn’t bother you? You really is just a kid, taking it so seriously…… ” I deliberately let out a long sigh, as I cautiously stood up – damn, when I am messing with a chick, I suffer a pinch or two at most, when have I ever been beaten so badly until I am on the verge of vomiting and yet cannot hit back.

“Yes! I am still a kid! I am not as open-minded as you, one minute with Sister Xiao Lu, the next minute ……” he paused abruptly, stared towards the ball of cotton candy with a face of chagrin, violently stamped a foot on it, and walked away after glaring at me with hatred in his eyes.

“Again ……” I skimmed my eyes towards the mess of a cotton candy that had barely a trace of its original form. This kid is way too emotional, so darn fierce like this. Ironically, he appears to be gentler when undergoing one of his schizophrenic episode.

Oh yes, talking about his schizophrenia? I actually forgot to ask him who is the stinking woman who was the cause of his weeping the other day.

Instead of focusing on the important question to ask, I cannot help but keep teasing him whenever I see him, and inevitably led up to a kiss, which is then followed by either a fist or a foot from him …. this recurring pattern is getting old.

Heaving a sigh, I straightened myself up. After all that drama, I am indeed hungry now. Initially intending to bring him to Music Kitchen for a meal, which was recommended by Shen Chao, I will have to settle with going alone now.

Considering the prospect of being alone in an environment of such ambience, I decided against it. With another sigh of resignation, I grabbed the phone and dialed: “Shen Chao, have you had your dinner? If you haven’t, can you help me order an egg fried rice? I’m heading over now ….”

“Qin Lang , I find that you seem more and more idle with your time lately, where have the endless queue of chicks waiting to dine with you disappeared to?” I was wolfing down the egg fried rice while Shen Chao incredulously shook his head: “I find that since you started dating Su Xiao Lu, you have started to ditch other wild chicks. You seem to be getting serious with this one, aren’t you?”

“Who said so?” I exclaimed while eating, almost choking: “I am still so young, I do not intend to lay my freedom to rest so quickly. My downtime is mainly because of Su Xiao Lu, that I met Cheng Yi Chen that brat who wasted a lot of my physical and material resources, with the occasional addition of some vomit and injury, what time does that leave me with hanging out with other chicks?”

“You’re giving him a lot of your attention, huh?” Shen Chao glanced at me.

“That’s right!” I blurt out without a second though, feeling a little flabbergasted by my own admission.

“So much effort towards a mere boy, buddy, don’t tell me you are trying to go along with the trend of …” Shen Chao shrunk himself backwards in an exaggerated manner, fearfully looking at me.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m in love with him, Shen Chao did you only just notice that?” I bared my teeth in a wide grin, swung towards him in two steps, and leaned my face close to his: “In fact, not only him, haven’t you noticed I’ve been keen on you too buddy …..”

“Argh! Just kill me!” He shouted, almost tripping himself out the bar: “If you wanna play this game, I’m not accompanying you. You take your time, I’ll go serve the customers!”

“All right, all right, piss off why don’t you!”I continued to bury my head in rice, not bothering to pay attention to him, but there are strange emotions spreading in my heart inexorably.

Paying attention to him? To Cheng Yi Chen?

Fuck, I must be out of my mind. I cannot believe that I’m letting myself get affected by that idiot Shen Chao’s nonsense.

What the hell can be between two grown-ass men.

Do not tell me schizophrenia is a disease that is contagious, and now I am becoming abnormal too, right? It seems to be too long since I dated a girl, hovering too much thoughts towards a brat must have made me sick too.

I was about to take out my cell phone and prepare to dial the number of so and so. However, scanning through the contacts, none of these numbers struck me with any recollection of a face.

I sighed, finally dialing a number: “Xiao Lu? I’m not sure if you’re free today, if you are, would you like to come out for a drink and have a chat?”

A Round Trip to Love V4 C3

“What are you doing here?” After a few seconds of silence, I asked with an undisguised frown of annoyance.

“It is Sis Xiao Lu who gave me your address.” He hummed a reply that is not an answer to the question I asked. The tip of his pretty straight nose is oozing fine beads of sweat, the face that was drooping slightly lifted up in a slow motion, meeting me in the eyes. The kind of expression he is currently displaying can accurately be described as submitting himself to a death sentence.

“Come on in!” I sighed and shifted to the side to beckon him in.

Sitting on the bed, I raised my gaze at him: “Make yourself at home!” He stood stiffly in the middle of the room, not even making an attempt to put down the package he is holding in his hands.

“As for what happened yesterday …… I need to apologize ……” He stewed the apology in his head for a long time before finally saying it out loud, his face blushing as he spoke with difficulty.

“You know what? Just forget it.” I waved my hand in a generous gesture, dismissing his apology while being surprised at finding myself in a genuinely good mood. Perhaps a good night’s sleep was indeed what I needed to revive my lousy mood from the past few days. Seeing him standing there still in a daze, I laughed out loud: “Hey, aren’t you tired of carrying something so heavy?”

“Huh!” Only then did he seem to snap back to reality, grunting an exclamation. Realizing his own awkwardness, he scratched his head and laughed at himself in self-embarrassment.

“Well, help yourself to a drink, I’m going to take my medicine, I’ll leave you to make yourself at home!” With that shared laughter, the atmosphere transformed into a much more relaxed mode. I made a gesture towards the drinks cabinet, took my medicine from the cupboard and unscrewed the lid of the bottle with some effort.

“You live by yourself in such a big place?” His eyes glanced around while he drank some bottled water, his face full of undisguised astonishment.

“It’s not all that extraordinary!” I replied indifferently. The only reason I would even stay in a house of such mediocrity is because of its proximity to the school, otherwise I would not even look at it – the family business is thriving and has made my life very privileged since I was a kid. I would not complain about the fact that it helps for me to have a quiet and private place to hang out with chicks too.

“What a luxurious lifestyle.” He commented with a slight twitch at the corner of his mouth.

I shrugged and ignored him, pulling out a cotton swab and started to carefully apply the medicine to my arm. The cold potion shocked my senses as it came in contact with my skin, and I inhaled sharply.

“Are these all yours?” While I struggled to disguise my pain in front of him, and desperately hang on to my suave image, I heard him ask this question with a great deal of excitement. He was so excited to see those few Japanese CDs that I had strewn all over on the floor, his eyes totally focused on them.

“Yeah!” I forced myself to hold back the pain and hide the cringes, keeping my breath from sounding shaky – you this little shit, please get it clear what the purpose of your coming here is! Do those crappy CDs contain more appeal than me?

“This is awesome!” He exclaimed happily, and did not care if my floor was clean or not, kneeling down to examine those CDs one by one, exclaiming, “X-Janpa’s, GLAY’s, MR.Children’s …… and Lunasea’s! And it’s the original Japanese version! Qin Lang, you’re amazing!”

Nuts, what do those crappy CDs have to do with me being awesome? This kid is unbelievable. Just a few minutes earlier when he entered the door, he was all solemn, as if he had come to attend his own funeral, but now, a few lousy CDs have intrigued him so much. However, his present appearance, eyes curved with a smile, red lips cracked into a beautiful arc, all pure and innocent, hidden underneath a facade of stubbornness and pride, actually spread a sense of excitement and happiness in the air throughout the room.

“You’re better off the way you are now!” Seeing him in great excitement, I could not resist the urge to tease him, “It’s much cuter than when you’re drunk and smelling of alcohol!”

“Yeah!” He was so excited that he likely did not even hear what I said. Had I asked: “I’m going to drag you out on the street and sell you off now, okay?” He would just nod his head and say, “Yeah!”

“There’s a big drawer next to the speakers, go open it!” Infected by his enthusiasm, I felt the desire to turn up that excitement by another notch and voluntarily gestured over towards the speaker.

“What is it?” He lovingly put down the CD in his hand and shifted towards the direction I pointed, and after a brief silence of about three seconds, he screamed in astonishment as I predicted: “You’re not a CD pirate, are you, Qin Lang? So many? And almost all of them are not commercially available?”

“These are just part of my private stash!” I was laughing at how his little mouth had been unable to close from excitement, “If you like it, pick a couple and take it back with you to listen to! Just don’t ever claim that I don’t understand what you’re singing!”

“Oh!” He laughed out with a slight blush of shame, “I was intentionally antagonizing you at that time, why do you still keep it to heart!”

“Take your time choosing!” I nodded at him and started applying the salve to the wound on my shoulder. Damn, this is tricky, struggling to see and feeling my way around it slowly. A little carelessness or a slight use of too much force can cause my entire face and eyebrows to scrunch up in pain.

“Qin Lang, how about these two ……” He was in the midst of picking through the CDs, when he turned around in time to witness the pitiful expression on my face.

“Does it hurt a lot?” He finally put down the CD in his hands and strode over.

No, it doesn’t hurt, in fact it feels freaking great! As a matter of fact, I wouldn’t mind taking a few more hits – I thought bitterly in my heart. I gave him a blank stare, grudgingly complaining under my breath and wondering what sort of intelligent being would ask an idiotic question such as this.

“Come ….. I’ll apply it on for you!” Looking at my struggles, he picked up a cotton swab.

“Finally your conscience is pricking at you!” I thought to myself as a sudden elation overtake me at hearing his offer. I patted the area next to me on the bed: “Come and sit here then!”

He carefully applied the lotion onto a cotton ball, a little clumsily, but with an expression full of concentration.

“Here? Is it?” He blew gently into the wound first, with a look like he was soothing a little puppy.

“Just hurry up and apply it on, it’s ticklish!” His seriousness made me feel all weird inside, and in order to suppress some unknown impulse that is suddenly overcoming me, I whispered urgingly.

“Oh!” He was still being very careful, not noticing my anomaly in the slightest.

As he applied the medicine with such intense concentration, his young body leaned close, his arm bare from his rolled up sleeves was resting right on my equally bare chest. His dry, soft hair swept into my face from time to time, emanating a distinctive clean smell of youth, gently assaulting my senses. I felt my skin tightened and heat up.

“Hey!” I could not help but whisper to him, gazing at the youthful, handsome and slightly childish side of his face.

“Yeah?” He replied perfunctorily and continued to apply the medicine to my wound. Not hearing a response from me, he looked up curiously, “What’s the matter?”

I did not say a word, instead I continued looking straight at him. He turned suddenly and the abrupt movement caused the cotton ball in his hand to rub roughly over the wound.

“Ah! It hurts!” I squint my eyes and called out, “Do you even know how to do this? You’re so clumsy!”

“Do it yourself if you think I’m incapable!” Not sure if he was annoyed or just trying to escape the embarrassment of what he’d just done, he threw away the cotton ball in his hand and smoothly tried to push me away.

“Hey! Be careful, brat!” Afraid that he would hurt me even more by pushing straight into my wound, I quickly shifted to the side. He saw me slump and reached out to pull me, but he did not expect me to trip over the edge of the bed, and his body came crashing down onto mine.

“Ah!” I met out a startling wail. Even though my bed was soft, it was groaning from the combined weight of two persons. He tried to get up but his hands were pressing on my wounds, and I grunted in so much pain that I did not even have the strength to moan.

“Are you …… are you okay?” He froze himself in the same position, afraid that any further movements would aggravate the situation, so he laid quietly on top of me.

“I’m still alive!” I let out a deep breath and pulled my crushed hand out from under his body.

Not even sure whether my own words were said out of jest or sarcasm but he did not say anymore, and the room became so quiet that both our heartbeats were audible. With his face buried under my neck, his warm breath stirred my pulse, and I could hear him swallowing his saliva with a slight uneasiness.

“Yi Chen ……“ I called his name softly and placed my hand tentatively on his waist. He shivered a little and his body curled up. I slowly lifted his t-shirt and caressed his lean back.

“En ……” he mumbled something through his nose like a confused little animal, like he was caught up in some emotion he never felt before.

Silly boy, just this innocent level of physical contact had already overwhelmed him. His passive and jerky reaction seemed to suggest that he had never had the experience of being touched and caressed before. Something akin to being moved by this realization began to stir in my heart, and I gently tilted his head over.

His ebony pupils are deep and shining, hiding an unknown panic, but inescapably obvious under my scrutiny. His eyelashes quivered, all the usual toughness and stubbornness disappeared under the unexpected tension, and all that remained is a piece of pure and true simplicity.

As if seduced by his innocence, I could not help but gently lean in and gently brush my lips over his slightly dry lips. His childlike expression appeared to be captured in perpetuity as he instinctively closed his eyes out of excitement and nervousness. Please, can my heartbeat stop being so loud? It’s so humiliating! Kissing a girl is as quick and easy as having a fast food meal, but why am I acting like this right now? Luckily Yi Chen’s eyes were also closed tightly, and he could not see my face which was also burning up.

It is a completely different feeling than the sweetness of kissing a girl. Even if it was only a quick brush of the lips, it was a clean and sunny scent of a teenager. Seeing that he had not returned to his senses, I could not help but stick out the tip of my tongue and lick it over his, tracing the shape of his thin, stubborn lips.

He could not suppress a whispered moan and tugged at his own hands, not knowing what to do.

Such an innocent and pure reaction set off the gentlest ache in my heart, but it also made me even hotter. The hand that had been caressing his spine crept up to his chest and cupped the two pointed tips on his chest, before he let out a moan, I kissed him deeper, sealing his voice. His innocent tongue was unguarded and I caught him instantly, and he responded with a small, unconscious moan to such an intimate entanglement.

Unaware how much time lapsed as I drowned in this unprecedented experience. He suddenly, as if realizing something, pushed me away and stood up in a panic, panting heavily.

Idiot, could it be he was so nervous that he forgot to breathe during the kiss? Or was this simply his first experience? Seeing the way his hair was in disarray, the way he was greedily breathing in air, and the few silver linings on his lips, I could not help but chuckle out softly and quietly lick my own lips, relishing the taste of the kiss.

“What are you staring at?” Seeing his expression gradually turning angry, looking like he was ready to pounce on someone, I quickly turned against him and looked at him askance, “You looked so intoxicated earlier that I thought you’d like it.”

He opened his lips, but did not say a word. Somewhat exasperatedly, he picked up the baseball cap that had fallen off from his head earlier and bellowed a hateful: “I’m out of here!”

“Not staying for a while longer?” I smiled and waved my hand, “I won’t see you off then, come visit again sometime!”

He breathed heavily, opened the door with a jolt, and was about to slam the door when I called out, “Hey! I forgot to tell you!”

Barely able to stay still for a minute longer, he turned his head and asked grudgingly, “What is it!”

“I wanted to tell you that it tastes good, it’s quite delicious!” As I nibbled on the apple he brought over, I stared purposefully at his lips that I had kissed until they were swollen and smiled pointedly, my meaning more than obvious.

“Bastard!” He blushed even harder, probably going mad with my teasing, slammed the door and streaked out.

“Hahaha!” I lay my body down on the bed and laughed out loud. The messy sheets retain the kind of sunshine flavor that Yi Chen left behind. I leaned my face against it and gently rubbed against it, a faint tenderness seeping up from the bottom of my heart.

In a good mood, I continued to lie in bed with my eyes open, my mind clouding over, and then I climbed up and pulled open a drawer to put a CD on. Only when it played did I realize that I picked MR. Birdcage.

In the evening at about eight, Shen Chao’s call came: “Qin Lang are you still alive, if you have nothing much to do, you should come on over, a friend came with a brand new album, it should be very good.”

In my current state of being wrapped up like a rice dumpling, I cannot go out to meet pretty chicks anyway. After a few phone calls made to those spoiled and whiny chicks to keep them pacified for a while, I shakily crawled my way to Shen Chao’s bar.

“One whole night has past with you giggling to yourself for no apparent reason, are you sure you took the right medication this morning?” Shen Chao reached over and prodded my forehead, “No fever, huh?”

“Fuck you, you’re the one with the fever!” I slapped his hand away, I’m just in a good mood today!”

“There’s no need to smile like a fool even if you’re in a good mood!” Shen Chao smiled as if he understood: “Did you do something bad again? Hmmm…”

“Hmmm, No?” I could not help but laugh: “I just taught a little bit of a lesson to the guy surnamed Cheng, the one who got drunk in the bar, the one you met!”

“That Cheng Yi Chen, right?” An eye glared over at me, “You’ve gone too far this time, there’s a limit in fooling around with people!”

Huh? Did I hear that right? He’s teaching me moderation? I have not even told you what’s going on, and you’re condemning me? Shen Chao, when did he become so righteous? And unpredictable?

“I’m the one who’s wrong? Aren’t all these taught by you, brother?” I picked up the bottle disdainfully.

“How dare you accuse me of misleading you?” He violently snatched back my bottle and exclaimed indignantly, “That ring was never returned, was it? I told you you had an axe to grind! I don’t know what you’re up to, and I can’t tell him you have it. I felt so sorry for him seeing him pitifully crawling on the floor searching for it and looking like he is just about to cry out.”

Huh? The ring? Oops, I really forgot about that.

Yesterday I was given a random punch by him, so naturally I did not have the chance to take it out while I was stewing with anger. And today, he was so eager to escape from that situation that he even forgot to take away the CDs that he chose, how would he even remember any rings.

“Hehehe!” I accosted him and pulled out the ring on the way out, “I carry it with me in case I find the chance to return it to him. Didn’t you say he’s been around for two days? Just give it back to him later!”

“Watch out, if he finds out you’ve been hiding it for so long he might just cut you in half!”

“No no no!” The way he was blushing so furiously under my kiss today, I just need to ‘remind’ him a little so he would not be so arrogant.

“Go out and have a look, he is probably still out there! Don’t make him mad again!”

I slowly grind out of Shen Chao’s office, veering towards the corner where there was a hazy and thin figure of a young teenager, clearly that of Cheng Yi Chen under the dim lights.

“I see you again so soon? Did you come for a drink?” I wanted to ridicule him with a couple of sentences, but the thought of the touch of his lips earlier and that heart rushing moment, I actually had to choke back two breaths caught in my throat.

When he heard me call him, he raised his head looking strangely dazed. There are faint water stains on his cheeks, and it actually looked like he had just cried.

Besides the last time he was drunk, when have I ever seen him show such real weakness? Shocked at his uncharacteristic demeanor, I quickly took out the ring in an attempt to rectify my mistake: “Are you looking for this? Here, take it back!”

No sooner had the ring been pulled out, then, he lunged straight at me and snatched it up in his hand. The rapid movement even made a few marks on my hands from his nails. Looking at his hands again, they were black, and I wondered how long he had been groping on the ground.

“Are you okay…” The expression of his face, filled with anxiety, is making me equally anxious, “I was going to give it back to you the last time I saw you…… and as you know, you retaliated so violently and then you clean forgotten all of it, didn’t you?”

“Thank you!” He stared at the ring in a daze, his mind obviously full of thoughts, and then, as if suddenly remembering my existence, he found his tongue and expressed an extraordinarily raw words of gratitude: “I’ve been looking for this for a long time, it’s extremely important to me!”

“ No need for thanks, and you’re welcome.” I was stunned. Why had this guy suddenly become refined and humble? It was really uncomfortable.

He barely smiled, and as if he had exhausted his strength, he sank into the sofa chair with his fingers rubbing the ring relentlessly, and visible tears fell not quite subtlety down in silence.

He’s crying? Again? What’s gotten into him? I am glad I did not tell Shen Chao what happened earlier in the day, otherwise seeing this scene of heartbreak displayed right in front of him, is going to make him and anyone think that I actually raped him.

This situation is way too odd, to say the least. During the day, he is the epitome of life, kicking and cursing at anyone he deems fit, while displaying a shy yet fresh demeanor, so how is it at night he can actually cry more miserably than a girl.

My God, could it be that Shen Chao was actually right, this is the legendary so-called schizophrenia!

I immediately shivered at this revelation and peeked over at him. I felt a surge of relief as I watched him pull out a piece of tissue and wiped his eyes, it appears that this horrific cry of agony was coming to an end.

“You …… this ……” I leaned in and took a glance at the ring, stuck for words, “Did your lover give this to you?”

“Yes.” After a long moment of silence, he looked up at me with a damp moisture in his tone.

“There’s no need to be sad, there’s grass everywhere and anywhere on this earth, so why love a flower unrequitedly? Look you’re crying so hard and she doesn’t even know, if it’s really impossible, you might as well be happy and get another one……” I peeked at his face while babbling these nonsense, and it was clear as day that his heart was getting choked up. Damn it, who the hell is the bitch that did this to him? Didn’t Su Xiao Lu say that this guy is too stubborn to be a stickler for girls? So what sad and sobbing tale of love lies behind this barrage of tears?

“Thank you!” It seems that my words actually worked, as he thanked me for the second time tonight, and the gratitude in his eyes was quite sincere!

“It’s okay, it’s okay, just be happy!” Seeing that he had finally stopped crying, I shushed him in great relief.

“Qin Lang, is your friend okay?” As we were talking, Shen Chao came over with a fruit platter, seemingly afraid that I would not be able to set things right, and came over to smooth things over.

“It’s fine, what could be wrong with Yi Chen!” I smiled and patted him on the shoulder. He flinched hesitantly, looking at me with some confusion, as if he felt a little weird the moment he heard me say his name .

“My name is Shen Chao, I’m the owner of this shop, if you encounter any trouble here in the future, just come to me, Qin Lang’s friend is my friend!” Shen Chao smiled and held out his hand.

“Thank you!” Yi Chen seemed to hesitate for a moment, before asking, “The last time I was here and got drunk and in trouble, you were the guys who helped me out, right?”

Shen Chao looked at me strangely, I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders – what is this kid playing at? Now you are finally asking? If this body filled with injuries and wounds are not because of protecting you, don’t tell me I did it to myself? And the punch you threw after that for no apparent reason, are you trying to deny it all?

“That’s mainly thanks to Qin Lang, I was mostly a spectator!” Shen Chao shrugged his shoulders at me and waved his hand, which essentially means – you can keep this weirdo for yourself to handle, I shall not be accompanying you.

“Qin …… Qin Lang!” He stammered my name a little, like he was not used to calling me directly by name, completely different from the way he called me during the day like he was calling his own pet dog. The style of dignified speech is simply too contrasting: “I can’t thank you enough for the two times you’ve helped me, especially today, you helped me retrieve this ring ……”

“Alright, alright, if you really feel it’s a great favor, then just keep the gratitude in your heart!” Seeing that he is still on a thanking binge, my head was gradually getting dizzy.

My initial desire to give this kid a couple of kicks to remind him that I am still his senior and that he needs to respect me, is now replaced with such a mouthful of polite language, that made me even more dizzy: “Honestly even if you feel compelled to keep thanking me, I will not ask you to give yourself to me in return, please! Let’s just have a drink!”

I spoke without taking any pauses in between for a break, and it startled him, and after a moment he unfolded his lips and smiled very gently.

If it was a woman in front of me, I would immediately show off by reciting a proverb about pearly whites. However, it is a man in front of me now, and although that smile with tears in it is also darn alluring, I can only pretend to have no interest in appreciating it. I’m used to seeing his unbridled pride and even his smile, but I never thought he would be so gentle and bashful. This guy is really fickle. Or perhaps love is a thing that molds ones personality, and falling out of love would surely make a huge difference in ones behavior.

He ordered two cocktails and drank them quietly, occasionally listening to what I asked before chatting succinctly. I really want to know what is the story behind what went on with that bitch that made him so sad, but I am afraid of triggering something that looked to almost push him to a point of a mental breakdown. I did not expect to see a side of this kid to be so warm and decent, and I continued watching him with a little bewilderment.

“Qin Lang, you have accompanied me for so long and said so much, I feel so much more comfortable!” After the drink he picked up his jacket and appeared to be ready to leave.

“Are you okay with all that drinking? Do you want me to drive you?” Seeing him wobble, I couldn’t help but reach out and give him a hand.

“No!” He shook his head gently but did not attempt to shake off the support I gave him, “Go stay with your friend, I’ll just walk by myself.”

“Then be careful!” Since he said so himself, I was not going to persuade him. Moreover, the fact that he is being spawned by love had me plunged into a ridiculous mood of inexplicable fire, and I ended up taking it all out on Shen Chao.

“What? He’s gone?” Discerning the look on my face, Shen Chao knew nothing good was going on, and dodged a safe distance away, but that did not keep his mouth from being idle: “Were I not right? He’s a classic case of a schizophrenic, added with amnesia! Dude, all that stuff you did for him seemed to have drifted away from his memory. I don’t think he even remembers it.”

“Nobody would think you are dumb even if you aren’t talking so much!” I did not even know why I am directing my frustration on Shen Chao, as if a night of being depressed by Yi Chen’s alienated personality need to be vented out no matter what.

Shen Chao was startled by my seemingly overreaction and did not speak again.

“I’m sorry, man, I’ve been drinking too much and I’m a little tired!” After an interval, I apologized softly in the direction of Shen Chao. He turned his head with his mouth still gaped open, and nodded at me with a measure of tolerance.

A Round Trip to Love V4 C2

“That’s so unlike you, Qin Lang, I thought after picking up a new chick yesterday you wouldn’t be coming here, so what brings you here today? Or don’t tell me you have already had enough of her and you are here today to look for some fresh meat?” Shen Chao gave an accusatory squint at me while opening the bottle of wine in his hand.

“Get lost, I’m not a horny bastard like you!” I glared at him, “How’s it going, is business good?”

“Of course, with your frequent patronage, how can I not be doing well!” He smiled smugly.

Shen Chao is a friend I grew up playing with since my childhood days. After graduating from high school, I enrolled in college and continued my studies. This guy however was happy just to achieve his high school diploma and meet his father’s minimum requirements. His family’s financial status is such that they are in surplus with or without his contribution in supporting the family’s business, so with the backing of his father, he opened a decent-sized bar. Since then, he is left to his own devices; playing his favorite music in his bar, mixing his favorite cocktails and generally just living out his own version of an ideal lifestyle.

“You play this kind of tasteless rock music in your bar? Be careful you scare away all your guests!” I shook my head as I took his drink.

“Seriously, weren’t you going after that Su Xiao Lu gal? How did you end up coming here by yourself today?”

“I don’t really know what happened myself ……” I scratched my head, a little confused: “I had dinner with her, and was scrupulously planning on getting her to spend the night with me, but after dinner, I lost all mood suddenly and sent her straight home. During the night I couldn’t sleep and felt so restless, so I flipped out MR. Children’s CD and listened to it until deep into the night …… I probably was feeling agitated. I met this brat at dinner last night, even though he’s an interesting character, but he nearly pissed me off to death ……”

“Eh? It’s a miracle in itself that someone can piss you off so much that you can even lose your appetite for picking up girls, so what happened, tell me about it!” Shen Chao’s eyes immediately lit up when he heard this, leaning over so close his face almost rubbed against my nose.

“Why are you so interested in my bad luck stories?” I made an angry face, knowing that I will not win against his persistence, I cleared my throat and prepared to launch my storytelling. Just as I was about to open my mouth, loud shattering glasses mingled with the disturbing sounds of people squabbling coming from somewhere in the corner, startling everyone in the bar.

“Shit, what’s going on there? Is someone here to make trouble?” In the midst of this chaotic situation, Shen Chao jumped out from behind the bar top and rolled up his sleeve, heroically preparing to defend his home turf. I quietly sighed and reluctantly followed him towards the source of the commotion.

“Who are these people? Can’t they quietly drink without making such a racket?” By the time I came up behind Shen Chao, he had already grabbed a young fellow who works there to interrogate about the situation.

“Boss, they don’t appear to be intentionally trashing the place!” he replied with trepidation: “There was a young guy sitting there minding his own business, drinking and looking a little tipsy, and a few rowdy people went over to approach!”

“A young guy? A man?” Shen Chao slapped his forehead incredulously: ”What has become of this world? Men can get harassed by men too?”

I let out a chuckle, “Brother, sorry but that’s just you being ignorant okay? Who ever told you that men can’t be harassed by men?”

“Ah! I must be old!” He looked at me and acted like he was suddenly enlightened: “Qin Lang, so this is a popular trend now! Next time I’ll get for myself a cute young boy to impress you guys!”

“I don’t have as good an appetite as you!” I slammed a fist on his back: “Go and put things back in order now, or else your territory will be all smashed!”

Statistics have shown that the majority of people prefer to be onlookers rather than good samaritans, the crowd that had gathered around the ruckus is wound so tightly in this small space that the actual people involved in it are hidden from sight.

“Get out of the way! Get out of the way! I’m the boss, talk to me if there’s any problems!” Shen Chao yelled while drilling his way past the spectators. What kind of a bar owner is he? Can he not speak with some grace! I had to hide my face and hope no one links me with him and trail behind him into the crowd.

In the corner seat, the coffee table where the fruit plate is placed had been knocked over, a few punks with colorful-dyed hair are surrounding a half-drunken youth who currently had his head buried, and they were whispering to him: “Don’t be shy, let’s go out and talk ……”

“What’s all the fuss about?” Shen Chao walked over with an exaggerated stern face.

“It’s nothing, we are buddies, he’s drunk ….. we’ll just pick him up and leave now!” A man with indecently dyed-red hair smiled distrustfully at Shen Chao and grabbed the youth’s hand: “Let’s go, we can talk outside!”

“Let go …… let go of me! I don’t know you guys ……” The slightly tipsy guy is struggling to flick off the hand that was grabbing onto his, and in the midst of the tussle, he almost fell over.

It looks like he is more than a little tipsy. I frowned and held my breath against the assault of a strong alcoholic smell from him as I grabbed him from under his arms to help him stabilize himself. This kid really deserves to be bullied for getting dead drunk all by himself in a bar!

Sensing his body go all soft and his staggers worsening, I held him up with my arms around his shoulders and carried him over to the couch.

“Cheng Yi Chen? Is that you?”

Just as my hand touched his shoulder, and my face turned around to face him directly, I suddenly recognized him and exclaimed in surprise.

It is late at night, the lightings in the bar are set very dim. Even though I could not see his facial profile very clearly, and his rather lengthy hair partially covers his forehead and eyes, he greatly resembles the guy I met last night. He stood in front of me with his lips slightly open, expelling alcoholic breaths towards me, his jaw pointed, his nose straight. I may recognize him belatedly, but I can vaguely make out the same face that just had a disagreement with me the previous night.

“What the hell? Why are you so drunk! Are you here having a party on your own? Or did you just want to throw away all the tips I gave you by spending it all here?” I asked nonsensically, changing a position to hold him up more securely. Since he can now be regarded as an acquaintance, and not some random stranger, and even though he is still an annoying brat – I could not just throw him onto the couch as I had planned to do, so I placed him gently down and adjusted him into a comfortable position.

“Do you know him?” Shen Chao asked me, his expression clearly indicating a bewilderment as to why I would know such an inexplicable drunk.

“This is the male lead of the story that I was about to relate to you!” I skimmed my mouth, ashamed of myself. The shoulder he had been leaning on was starting to ache, and I was about to shift him over to the same young fellow who is sitting next to him so that I can give my shoulder a break. The moment I let go of him, he suddenly awakened and tightened his arms around me.

“No …… don’t go …… don’t leave me…” he murmured incoherently.

“Hey! It’s Yi Chen, isn’t it …… ah, what are you doing?” He held my waist in a deadlock, I want to extract myself out of his embrace but I cannot, the people from the sidelines glanced on in amusement as I hastily tried to tear him away from me.

“Don’t go ……” His voice lowering, his body entangled tightly around me like a spoilt child, his face pressed against against my shoulder, and there seemed to be hot liquid seeping through to the sleeve of my shirt.

Oh God! What is the meaning of this? This soft and sensitive boy in front of me is nothing like the proud and stubborn Cheng Yi Chen whom I met last night. A little alcohol had transformed him completely? Is that it? It seems that Shen Chao is an honest bartender and did not dilute his customer’s drinks with water. Looking at him in this miserable condition, don’t tell me he fell out of love? Me, Qin Lang, a big man being hugged by another man, who is spilling emotional confessions with the words, “Don’t leave me” As soon as I visualize this scene that is being watched by the audience, I broke out in a chill.

“Shen Chao …..” I twisted my head around shamefaced, begging for help. Shen Chao gave me a wicked smile and struck a helpless pose.

“Yi Chen …. could you just let go first? I won’t leave you.” I said soothingly like a mother to a child. Since coercion did not work, I have to use persuasion. I will just treat it as a practice run for coaxing chicks. The only problem is I would much rather be buying a coffin to bury myself in then to suffer the humiliation of being under the curious eyes of these people watching me sweet talk a teen of the same gender as myself.

“Um …..?” He grunted softly and raised his head, staring at me earnestly, his dark eyes glimmering and filled with softness. I was stunned by his looks, and for a moment I froze in place. The hands that were meant to pull away from his grip actually lost their strength.

“Qin Lang ……” Shen Chao pushed me with a light cough, “He’s drunk, give him some tea to wake him up! This is getting a little out of hand!”

“You’re right!” It was only then that I came to my senses, sat him upright on the couch, take over the hot tea handed to me from the young fellow: “Yi Chen, have some tea, it will help to clear your head.”

He looked at me blankly, as if he had not heard what I was saying. I crouched down with a cup of tea in my hand and let him continue staring at me, enduring the mutterings of the onlookers around me.

“Yi Chen, are you feeling unwell anywhere? Why don’t I ask Su Xiao Lu to come and pick you up and bring you back to the school dorm?” The tone I am using now to talk to him sounded like a kindergarten teacher pacifying little children. Cheng Yi Chen, even though I know you’re not completely sober right now, but please stop staring at me so blankly, and say something, okay?

Just as I am worrying about how I can pull away from this awkward standstill, the heavens finally answered my prayers – by giving me an opportunity to beat someone up.

A kid with dyed green hair among those punks looked at me and muttered in a small voice, “No wonder this guy dare to offend us, it turns out he’s a lover here to back him up …….”

“Get your head out of your ass, who the fuck is his lover?” Finally, I have a reason to stand up, and I lunged towards that punk to punch him in the face. Fuck, I’ve put up with this long enough, and since you do not know what’s good for you, then do not blame me for making the first move.

“Qin Lang!” I did not expect myself to actually hit him, Shen Chao barely had the time to roll up his sleeves before rushing up to help. And on the other side, a few more punks huddled up to us with beer bottles in their hands. And like a group of chicken and dogs jumping around in disarray, we got involved in a full on bar fight.

“How dare they come to my territory to make trouble, and they didn’t bother to find out about our backgrounds! They’re lucky they didn’t go out lying on stretchers, next time even if they go down on their knees to beg for mercy I will not let them off!” A few minutes later, I was sitting in Shen Chao’s office pasting band aids on myself while listening to his cursing and swearing.

“Can you be more gentle, goddamnit!” I slapped away the hand that he was applying medicine to: “They had better not let me see them again, or I’ll beat them up each time!”

“It’s true!” Seeing that my anger had not subsided, he also followed along my angry tone, and only after a long time did he cautiously ask: “Actually Qin Lang I am very curious, why did you suddenly make a move? Didn’t you just said you want to take the gentleman route in future?”

“Be a gentleman my ass! Didn’t you hear what dirty shit that bastard was spurting out of his mouth?” I glanced over and stared.

“Are you talking about that!” He seems to be reminded of something, as he let out a ‘puff’ and laughed out loud: “I would’ve forgotten if you didn’t mention it! But his behaviors, touching and grabbing you so longingly, and the way you reciprocated so gently and warmly trying to soothe him, you indeed resembles a lover to him!”

“Are you looking to receive a punch from me too?” I slapped him behind his back and accidentally yanked the glass shard cut wound on my arm, immediately grimacing: “By the way, where’s Cheng Yi Chen now? Where did he go?”

“You mean that drunk guy? I’ve asked my staff to look after him, don’t you worry!” Shen Chao deliberately squeezed his eyes at me ambiguously.

“What’s wrong with your eyes?” I stood up, “I don’t know what kind of bad luck I am running into today, first I ran into that psychopath, and then it’s you acting so abnormally!”

“Huh!” Shen Chao smiled indulgently, “Let’s go and see if your little lover is awake!”

“Eh? He’s gone? So fast? Qin Lang and I risked our lives to defend him and sustained all these injuries only to have him disappear without even a word of thanks?” Shen Chao exclaimed in injustice to the staff left behind cleaning up the mess. After sweeping his eyes around a second time to make sure that Cheng Yi Chen has indeed left, Shen Chao turned to me with a look full of ridicule.

I cannot be bothered with where or when he left, the glass cut on my arm hurt so badly, and my shoulders and face feels like they are on fire, I don’t even know if I have ruined my handsome face. After all these pandemonium, I have even lost all interest in drinking. I just want to head back and have a good rest. With a slight gesture, I slung my coat over my shoulder and casually prepared to bid goodbye.

“Qin Lang, is this yours?” Shen Chao called out to me just as I was about to leave. A thin ring hung from a black silk thread is hanging from his hand: “My guy picked it up earlier when he was cleaning the floor!”

“When would I ever wear this sort of street quality jewelries.” I looked at that kind of gloss on the ring and concluded that it is not made of gold, likely silver.

“Silver, quite exquisitely made, I thought perhaps some innocent maiden gave it to you as a love token. If it isn’t yours then it must belong to that guy!” Shen Chao seems very interested in the ring, as he came up to the light to have a closer look at it.

“I see, how about I take it to school tomorrow and ask him if it belongs to him!” I reached over and looked at it. It is indeed surprisingly well made, and looks like it is not a cheap piece of metal as I thought initially, with its exquisite craftsmanship. I cannot believe that that youngster would take such trouble to find, or make such a brilliant ring.

The pain from the wound caused me to stay up almost all night, and I woke up in a daze just after 6 a.m. and examined the wound on my arm, which is swelling badly instead of recovering. Damn it, what sort of medication did Shen Chao apply on me, could it be those expired goods bought from street stalls? I took a bottle of disinfectant from the cupboard and applied it to my wound, and slept under the covers, making up my mind to skip morning class. I am in senior year four, and showing up in school is no longer necessary all the time. Additionally I am not staying in the school dorms, so I need not tolerate the incessant noise, but rather enjoy the tranquility of my room. By the time I woke up again, I looked at my watch and saw that it was already past ten o’clock, I saw a short message on my phone from Su Xiao Lu: “Qin Lang, would you like to have lunch together at noon?”

Woman, you must know the virtue of patience and reservation! Dating is something that must be initiated by a man, otherwise the mood will be greatly reduced by half! I shook my head while enduring the pain of getting dressed. However, compared to other women who are like wolves and cannot wait to seek me out after seeing me a few times, Su Xiao Lu seems to be a lot better. Although my sexual urges had been rather tame lately, but sitting down for a meal with her and chatting sounds fairly inviting. At the meantime, I can also ask her to return the ring to Cheng Yi Chen.

Thinking of this, I pulled the ring out of my pocket while dialing Su Xiao Lu’s number: “Xiao Lu? I’ll meet you at the basketball court when the last class is over!”

By the time I got myself organized and looking handsome enough to step out of the door, it was still early before the last class is to be dismissed. As I strolled slowly towards the basketball court, I was pondering upon how best to cover the various scars and marks left behind by the fight from yesterday, and felt an odd sensation of being stared at from behind, turning around, I saw a pair of unfriendly eyes staring at me.

“Is it your gym class now? If you were so drunk just yesterday, and you’re able to run and jump about today, it appears you have a good recovery system!” I shushed. The Cheng Yi Chen in front of me is holding a basketball, wearing a white T-shirt and a long-brimmed baseball cap, the corners of his mouth delightfully raised upwards, as sunny as it gets, not looking at all like the drunk and disheveled guy from yesterday at the bar.

He gave me a somewhat puzzled stare, as if he could not quite understand what I was saying. I shrugged and was about to pull the ring out and ask if it was his when he was already a step ahead of me.

“Since I chance upon you here, let’s talk directly, don’t bother Xiao Lu Sis!” He shrugged his shoulders slightly and made a full-on gesture.

“Oh? Speak!” Unable to stand his arrogance, I skimmed my lips.

“This, take it back!” Unexpectedly, he shoved a few dollar bills in front of me: “I was going to give it to Xiao Lu and tell her to pass it back to you, but now I can just give it to you directly!”

“What is it?” I didn’t react for a moment and looked at him a little strangely.

“Your tip from the bar.” He glared at me, “I was just trying to give you a little lesson that day and didn’t mean to take your money. Three hundred bucks for a song? Even if you want to show off in front of Xiao Lu you didn’t have to spend this kind of money.”

Is that so? I could not help but laugh out loud as I listened. Looking at his serious expression, it is as if he is trying to teach me a lesson on life value. It is only a mere three hundred dollars, and he had to take it so seriously, he is really a kid. It’s not uncommon for me to hit a few thousand bucks a night on a chick. What’s three hundred dollars. I shook my hand while holding back a laugh, “No need to return it, keep it, the show was really good that day, you deserve it and I think it was worth every cent!”

“Just take it back, now that Xiao Lu is not here, you don’t have to show off your wealth!” He shoved the money straight into my pocket and pressed the brim of his hat with his hand: “I’m off!”

“Don’t be in a hurry!” I was suddenly in a good mood, and it was as if all of yesterday’s messy misadventures had been washed out into the Pacific Ocean in his refreshing tone: “Have you lost something of yours?”

“What?” He was somewhat in a blank, wrinkling his nose, and I watched his colorful facial expressions in merriment.

“What do you think?” I was trying to tease him. Thinking that this ring that had been threaded up by him personally, and hung against the place nearest to his heart, I am guessing it must be a gift from the woman he loved: “It looks like a token of affection!”

“What nonsense are you on about?” The look of dawn on him that I anticipated did not arrive, instead he afforded me a somewhat disgusted and impatient glance, which plainly suggests that he deemed me rather ridiculous.

“You dropped it in the bar yesterday, probably when you were drunk and those little hoodlums pulled you to the ground!” Looking at his incomprehensible look, I did not bother teasing him anymore and reached out to grab the ring in my hand, extending my hand to return it to him.

“Drunk? You mean to say you saw me drunk? Bastard! What hoodlums? What’s going on? Say it clearer!” The expressions on his face shifted a few times, as if he had thought of something, and he took a step forward and tugged at me by my collar, the small face of his pressed closer towards me was filled with anger.

“What are you doing?” He tugged at me roughly, hurting my unhealed wounds: “It’s not like I was the one who molested you. You can’t be blaming me for getting yourself all drunk yesterday?”

“What the fuck is going on here?” He snarled viciously, foul words spilling out. Being yelled at by him like that, my own anger flared. This guy is truly sick, he went to a bar, caused trouble, making me help him out of the predicament, resulting in me being wounded for his sake, yet instead of thanking me, he is acting as if I was the one who bullied him.

“No, you should be the one telling me what’s going on? Last night you were all over me, touching and fondling and hugging me, being so disgustingly passionate, the only thing you haven’t done is to beg me to fuck you. If not for the fact that I see you are too young for me to screw, you would be lying in my bed right now and not able to get down for a few days, you think you are still able to be so arrogant in front of me? Don’t you remember any of that?” I was so incensed as I roughly slapped his hand away.

“Bastard!” He was already onto me before I finished, swinging a fist at my face. I raised my hand to block the blow, only to remember that there was still a glass cut on that arm, but it was too late to retract it. The punch landed straight on the open wound, I stifled a grunt and crouched down, blood oozing out immediately from beneath my white coat.

He probably did not expect his punch would actually produce such a potent consequence, as he gasped and froze, his attacks ceasing.

That fucking hurts! That bastard really did not pull back on his strength. I fumbled to roll up my sleeve and tried to press down on the wound, only to find signs of blood flowing.

“Fuck!” I spat heavily and simply ripped off the blood-soaked gauze.

“Hey! Here you go!” I heard his low voice and looked up, it was a tissue handed over.

Oh how helpful! How is that tiny piece of tissue going to be of any use? I grunted coldly, “Thanks!”

“How about …… I go with you to the infirmary to have it looked at.” He hissed.

“Save it!” I wrapped my coat around the wound and turned around in an extremely bad mood: ”Go tell Su Xiao Lu that I have to make a move first, and tell her not to wait for me. And I’m telling you, I suffered all these wounds on me from the fight! Just fucking remember that helping you out last night will be the first and last time. In future, even if you get raped in front of me, I won’t even bother to take a second glance!”

I could not see his face, only hearing his ragged gasping, seemingly trying hard to suppress himself from returning fire. With a grunt of my nose, I held back the pain and darted back from a flurry of curious stares around me.

“Shen Chao, tell me, have I run into the worst luck in eight fucking lifetimes?” When I reached home, I haphazardly reapplied medication on my wounds. Feeling dispirited and depressed, I just had to run to Shen Chao’s again to spit all my grievances on him.

“You’re really unlucky, that kid with the last name Cheng is meant to be your star calamity!” Shen Chao gloated.

“I suspect he’s sick in the head! Or he’s simply a fucking psychopath!” I spat heavily and snatched the wine from Shen Chao’s hand: “Last night, he was soft like a girl, and today he’s as fierce as a tiger, do you think a normal person will behave like that?”

“Can you stop drinking so much, it’s bad for inflammation!” Shen Chao frowned, “But after hearing what you said, that kid might really suffer from schizophrenia!”

“Come on, you pulling my legs?” Seeing Shen Chao’s serious expression, I almost squirted a mouthful of wine into his face.

“I mean it!” Seeing that I was disbelieving, Shen Chao leaned closer: “I’ve studied about this mental phenomenon before!”

“Come on, come on!” I glared at him, “Buddy I have to say, why do you always score such mind-boggling dismal results on your high school exams? It turns out you are wasting your brain cells and intelligence on studying useless crap such as this!”

“Of course!” I ignored him, and he laughed nonstop, carrying on with his schizophrenia analysis: “Look at him that day, he said “Don’t leave me”, probably because he was abandoned. And according to you, he’s the kind of person who has a bad temper and big ego, so he must have repressed the humiliation of being abandoned. So, as time goes by, his yearning for the person increases so he needs to talk to someone about it. Yet he continues to suppress himself as he refuses to expose his own weaknesses, so this imbalance has caused him to gradually become abnormal.”

“Dude, you’re so full of shit that you are blowing my mind! Come on, brother, I’ll drink to you! Drink up, drink up!” I did not want to continue listening to his nonsense, so I hurriedly stuffed a glass of wine to his lips to gag his mouth – Shit, I’ve been fighting literal and figurative fights for the past two days, if I allow him to continue tossing around such nonsense, I predict the schizophrenic will not be Cheng Yi Chen, but me Qin Lang instead.

It was almost 2:00 a.m. again when we came out of Shen Chao’s bar, and the next day was the weekend, so I can rest at home without coming up with excuses. I checked my phone to find a log of a dozen unanswered calls, all from pretty chicks that I picked up before, feeling a headache coming on just seeing them. Women! Why are you all so unrestrained? I tapped my forehead, feeling bored just deleting those lovey-dovey tweets.

“Qin Lang, it’s my birthday tomorrow, let’s go to a bounce house, shall we? I missed you so much!” If I really go bouncing in my present condition, I think your birthday each year will also be my death anniversary.

“Honey, there’s a new western restaurant on the waterfront road, shall we go and try out the newest French cuisine there?” Thanks, I just want to try the latest painkillers now.

“Qin Lang darling, what are you doing now? I guess you’re wondering how I am right now? I am thinking of you too!” Me now? I’m just wondering who the hell you are.

“Qin Lang, I heard from Yi Chen that you were injured, how is it, is it serious? Do you want me to come and see you tomorrow?”

Yeah? It’s from Su Xiao Lu? Cheng Yi Chen actually mentioned about me to her? Come on, doesn’t he know that my current bandaged-up, dumpling-like appearance is detrimental to my always suave image? I returned her call hurriedly: ”Xiao Lu? I’m sorry I missed my appointment today, but of course, I feel bad for disturbing your sleep ….. I’m fine, it’s just a minor external wound, you don’t have to take time out just to visit me.” Taking advantage of the fact that she is still in a daze from being woken up in the middle of a sleep, I added a few more “Umm” to all her questions and that effectively put her mind off coming to visit me.

Go home, shower, change into your pajamas ……

Turn off the phone, turn off the alarm clock, unplug the phone ……

All I want now is a good night’s sleep and to throw away all my bad luck for the past few days into faraway Mars.

“Who is it?” A few dull but heavy knocks can be heard on the door. Glancing at the wall clock, it is already three o’clock in the afternoon. A gentle woman like Su Xiao Lu would never knock on the door so roughly like this so I assumed Shen Chao’s conscience had finally come to haunt him and he is here to check if I am dead or alive.

“I’m starving, did you bring take-out?” I casually put on a pair of pajamas pants to open the door, the wounds on the arms and back have not fully healed, and so I left my upper body naked – We grew up having a bubble bath in the same tub, seeing my upper body is not going to make his eyes rot.

“Is that you?” The moment I pulled open the door, I confirmed that my guess was wrong – standing in the doorway is not Shen Chao, but carrying a large bag of fruits with a clenched lower lip and an imminent look of righteousness transfixed on his face, is Cheng Yi Chen.

A Round Trip to Love V4 C1

Côte d’Azur Restaurant & Bar.

A top-notch bar bistro located near Xiamen University.

It receives a high rating from me mainly due to its geographical location – a convenient and decent place for me to further advance my plans to conquer the innocent girl I just hooked up with. Being the latest to take the bait, I afforded her a relatively higher visiting rate so as to lay an early emotional foundation, paving the way for me to hit that home run sooner.

Hence today at the dinner table, I did not forget to be a gentleman and helped Su Xiao Lu pull out her chair while hanging her handbag up at the side.

“Xiao Lu, do you want to have a look to see what you want to order?” I handed her the menu, not wasting the opportunity to touch her hand ‘accidentally’. Almost immediately, her fair face flushed. Under the soft lightings, she looks breathtakingly beautiful.

These days, girls who are genuinely shy are rare creatures possibly on the verge of extinction. I may very well keep this Su Xiao Lu longer than the others, it seems unlikely I will tire of her very soon.

“Steamed carp.” She smiled faintly, avoiding direct eye contact with me, her voice a little strained.

“Xiao Lu, you have such a good figure and smooth complexion, you don’t have to pick such light dishes.” It is my talent to sweet talk a girl, and as expected, this casual compliment made her eyes lit up.

The food came quickly, including a bottle of red wine that I specifically ordered.

In the next hour, Su Xiao Lu happily harassed the small fish with a fork and knife, her long hair covering half of her face slantwise, wearing a permanent tinge of blush. While I drink the red wine, I admire the ‘appetizer’ in front of me, which looks way tastier than the dishes on the table, my brain racing to put a plan in motion to trick her into stripping herself naked willingly for me by tonight.

“Qin Lang, aren’t you going to eat?” She naturally had no idea what was going through my lecherous mind, but noticing my faltering gaze, she got a little concerned.

“I’m eating!” I looked at her, revealed my signature smile and with an ulterior motive, picked up a paper napkin to wipe her cheek: “Don’t move, you’ve got something here …….”

Her face became redder, and her eyes closed, willingly indulging my unruly hand.

“Xiao Lu Sis!” Just as my hand was about to touch the surface of her delicate skin, a muffled call reached us from a distance. Su Xiao Lu turned her head and my hand hung in mid-air in the most unfortunate manner.

Damn, who’s the arsehole, calling out at this inopportune moment! Can’t you recognize it when a guy is trying to seduce a girl? Isn’t it obvious this is some kind of a stab at me?

Furiously, I lifted my head ready to retaliate against this rude fellow, when I was instead met by a pair of antagonistic stares.

This prick, you spoilt my move and you got the cheek to glare at me?

I held back my frustration by masking my emotion with a forced smile, leaning back to take stock of the teenager standing behind Su Xiao Lu, who is currently staring at me unabashedly.

“Yi Chen, why are you here? Are you here to have dinnner too?” Su Xiao Lu seemed to be embarrassed for some reason, her voice had a few tremors to it.

“No, I’m here to work!” It was still that muffled sounding voice, with a childish tone of a teen. His eyes are not on Su Xiao Lu, but rather focusing provocatively at me the whole time.

Fuck, have I stepped on your toes, or are you beguiled by me too? I know I am a sight to behold, but please look carefully at my gender. Keep on staring like this and I’m going to have to charge you a viewing fee. I rolled my eyes at him, fished out a cigarette and lit it, no longer paying attention to him.

After receiving no response from my side, this kid must have gotten bored of performing a one-man show, changing his target to Su Xiao Lu, he said in a softened tone: “Xiao Lu, are you free today? Yang Rui is sick, and he’s been thinking of you a lot, can you check on him?”

So it turns out that this kid is a lobbyist for Su Xiao Lu’s admirer, that explains his hostility towards me. This is getting interesting, I did not say a word and waited patiently for the following scene.

“Yi Chen, what’s the point of this? I know you and Yang Rui are close, but you should understand that when it comes to romantic feelings between a man and a woman, it can’t be forced? What good would it do for him to be so persistent? It is no longer possible between me and him, and you of all people should know that.”

As the saying goes, mastery is achieved out of a hundredfold of practice. Unexpectedly, the sweet-tempered Su Xiao Lu is actually a master at rejecting guys. Her speech was made in one long breath, without any hesitance. I was so impressed I almost applauded her.

“Xiao Lu Sis …… in that case I’ll find the right opportunity to relay what you just said to him. Then ……. I guess I’ll just head back to work …….” This young fellow by the name of Yi Chen wavered for a few more moments, before giving up on his attempt at being a middle-man. He nodded helplessly at Su Xiao Lu and walked past me, letting out an audible sigh. He may not appear to bear any ill will towards Su Xiao Lu, but as for me, the guy whom he labeled as his buddy’s love rival, he was unable to summon any friendliness towards.

“Who is he? Quite an smug guy he is!” Watching him make his way towards the depths of the bar, I could not help but pass this comment. I am the Qin’s family young master, someone actually dared to show me such disregard?

“My junior brother from the same department, his name is Cheng Yi Chen, Yang Rui is his friend, who had always had a crush on me …….” Su Xiao Lu lowered her voice, dropping her eyes down, idly fiddling with the glass in her hand.

“Don’t worry, I understand …… but why is he so grumpy, acting like he wants to pick a fight.” I interrupted her with a light smile – making an tricky situation better for pretty girls is one principle I adhere by.

“Yi Chen ah …….” She softly laughed, “That’s how he is, always standing up for others, a champion for the underdog, a defender of the weak, and very impulsive. He is still a child, Qin Lang, don’t hold it against him.”

“Of course not ……”I agree with her, I am the mature one here; I certainly would not NOT hold it against him.

Who does he think he is? I am out wooing a girl and he thinks he can just come and make a scene?

Not to mention that little commotion made me out to be the bad guy. One booty call from me, Qin Lang, and a dozen girls of all shapes and sizes would come running, did he think I am even on the same level to be compared with his friend? He is not even qualified to look down on me, trust him to be so self-righteous? Obviously he has nothing better to do on a full stomach.

The sound of guitar tuning sounded from the stage of the restaurant and when I looked up at it, it was actually played by that Yi Chen guy.

“I thought he’s here to work part-time washing dishes or something, but he’s actually performing here?” I glanced over with a slight sneer.

“Yi Chen is really good with his guitar, and he sings very well too, Qin Lang, don’t underestimate him too much!” Perceiving my unfriendly tone, Su Xiao Lu smiled with an approving look at Cheng Yi Chen, who is plucking out a broken chord on the strings of his guitar checking for intonation.

“Really? Xiao Lu, since he has your stamp of approval, he must be good!” I turned my body around facing the stage, pretending to be interested, but I have already disdained it a hundred times in my heart. Good? How good can this kid who looks like he had just gone through puberty be? Isn’t it just pretending to be cool swinging a guitar around and belt out a popular tune? If he is indeed any good, there is no way I would not have noticed it before, not as if this is my first or second time here.

As I was just pondering on how best to give that kid a big letdown, he swept a long trailing note on his guitar, and nodded towards the keyboardist sitting on the other side, getting ready to start the performance.

Yeah? Bring it on.

When the melody finally sounded, I was astounded.

Instead of pleasing the general audience with those vulgar pop songs that are playing everywhere in the streets, he began to play the song ‘Birdcage’ by the classic Japanese band Mr. Children.

“How long has he learnt Japanese?” I turned around to ask Su Xiao Lu, a little surprised by his rather moving Japanese vocals – given our family business growth in Japan, I’ve been influenced by Japanese culture since I was a child. Hearing a teen singing one of Mr. Children’s hit song in this small local bar is surprising to say the least. Although his vocal is rather juvenile and lacks that evocative vibe, that unique arrangement amazes me.

“Not that long.” Su Xiao Lu laughed out lightly, ”Don’t you think he’s pretty good at it? In fact, Yi Chen is particularly gifted in music, as long as it is a song that intrigues him, he will be able to capture the essence of it after listening to it over and over again. He can even mimic the pronunciation and singing style. The other day he was humming a new Korean song in the school cafeteria, and it actually attracted the attention of a very pretty Korean girl to approach him, but he didn’t understand a word of Korean that she was speaking, his face turned all red and he ran off apologizing profusely. I can still remember the look on his face, so cute.” Recalling this incident, the grin on Su Xiao Lu’s face became wider.

“That’s pretty funny!” I couldn’t help but laugh myself, “He must have been really embarrassed!”

“A lot of girls in the school are smitten with him because of his talent, and knowing that I’m his senior sister, they would pass me love letters folded into paper cranes and ask me to pass them on to him.” Noticing that she has aroused my interest, Su Xiao Lu suppressed her laughter as she continued talking.

“And then what? This kid must be on cloud nine? He must be drawing lots every day to decide which girlfriend to have dinner with?” I regretted saying those words as soon as it left my mouth – did I accidentally expose my own despicable deed? Stealing a glance at Su Xiao Lu, she did not appear to reveal any negative reactions, and I secretly let out a sigh of relief.

“He didn’t. I visited him at his place and found all the letters untouched and unopened, all stuffed neatly in a drawer. I asked him why did he not give the girls a reply, that cheeky guy actually said to me with a face full of grievances: “Xiao Lu, tell them not to fold such complicated origami in future, I can’t even unfold them after studying them for hours ……”

“Haha, this kid has a sense of humor!” I laughed out loud and twisted my head to look back at the stage. I could not tell that this kid who was just acting all cool with a stinky face, would have an adorable side to him. According to Su Xiao Lu’s narrative, he is just an immature youth, me being the gentleman that I am, should not continue to deprecate him.

The stage lights dimmed, the keyboardist stood up and walked to the side of the stage to get a drink of water, and it looks like after performing three or four songs, it is time for a break.

“Yi Chen, it’s wonderful!” Su Xiao Lu gestured for Yi Chen to come over and rest while praising him.

“Thank you, Xiao Lu Sis! The house guitarist here is on medical leave today, and I am just standing in to help a friend out on last minute notice, to be honest, it was pretty nerve-wracking earlier.” Despite nodding politely at Xiao Lu while walking towards us, his eyes only glanced at me fleetingly, neither did he take a seat with us, it seems like he is still uncomfortable with me in close proximity.

No wonder, he is only here as a substitute. Otherwise I would not possibly have missed such a good vocal.

It is not hard to detect his continued hostility towards me, I shrugged my shoulders at Su Xiao Lu somewhat helplessly. Since he had delighted my ears with his performance earlier, I extended a glass of wine to him as a peace offering along with a sincere compliment: “I enjoyed your singing, it was really good!”

He was stunned, as if he was caught off guard by my sudden gesture of kindness.

“Have a drink, it will moisten your throat!” I smiled and handed the glass to him again, demonstrating my generosity at not bearing grudges to a junior, and of course, knowing that Su Xiao Lu is evaluating me. I’m a grown man of twenty-three years old, obviously not on the same level of maturity with this kid of not even twenty.

Time and again, my charming smile had proven itself to be lady-killers and men-killers.

He finally conceded after about three seconds of hesitation: “Thank you, but I don’t drink!”

I think I must be getting a little dizzy from the effects of the alcohol – the moment he smiled it was as if the moonlight spilling through the glass roof illuminates across his face, the radiance so captivating.

“Moreover, do you not know that drinking is bad for the voice?” He grinned as he lowered his body, leaning toward me, his voice compressed low. The smile lingering on his face would make any observer think that he is being friendly, but I am the only one who could hear his sneering words: “Moisten the throat? Do you know what you’re talking about? I’ve never seen anyone with so little common sense!”

Common sense? What I am offering him is high grade fine wine, okay? A sip or two is not going to hurt anything? Isn’t it obvious as hell that he is trying to antagonize me? I gritted my teeth and swallowed my annoyance, I was about to blurt a retort when he continued on with the next sentence.

“Also, put away your fake compliments! Don’t act like you’re a connoisseur of music in front of Xiao Lu, do you even understand what I just sang?” While he was talking, he turned his head towards Su Xiao Lu with a pure smile, the image of innocence.

“I’m so sorry, I really didn’t understand what you were singing! Those songs I like are all about you love me, I love you crowd pleasers.” My face exuding a calm quite in contrary to the animosity rising in me, my knuckles turning white from clenching my two fists together.

Fucking kid! Where were you when I was listening to MR. Children. I think you were still poking around CD shops trying to catch a bargain, and you think your taste in music is more sophisticated than mine? The amount of original CD albums in my house can crush you to death under their weight. I had wanted to drop the matter for Su Xiao Lu’s sake, yet you don’t know what’s good for you! Alright then, you leave me no choice but to teach you a good lesson you will remember for life!

“Xiao Lu Sis, I have to get back on stage, I’ll go over now!” He nodded at me, not forgetting to pick the corner of his mouth specially for me, and hopped back on stage.

“Qin Lang, is something wrong, you are looking pale?” Su Xiaolu asked curiously.

“Am I? Probably had too much wine. It’s okay, let’s listen to the performance!” I will endure. Damn it, I look pale? I’m lucky this kid hasn’t given me internal bleeding.

Cheng Yi Chen jumped back on stage with light footings, whispered the next repertoire to the keyboardist, and immediately got ready to begin the next part of his performance.

“Wait, wait a minute!” I shouted out, interrupting the tune that was about to be played.

“Is something the matter?” His voice came through the microphone with an impatience and slight annoyance, making it sound almost cartoonish.

“I’d like to request and dedicate a song to this lovely lady here with me tonight, I wonder if I can trouble you to play it for us?” I deliberately slowed down the pace of my speech, to enjoy the sight of his face turning from a shade of white to green.

“Qin Lang!” Su Xiao Lu whimpered in surprise and embarrassment. I did not even turn my head to acknowledge her, looking straight at Cheng Yi Chen on the stage. Aren’t you the big shot always standing up for your friends, you little son of a bitch? Well now I am going to ask you for a ‘little favor’!

“I ……” He is still at a tender age after all, under my sudden provocation, his face rose a bright red, suddenly inarticulate and paused a long time before shouting out: “I’m not singing!”

“No way, I remember the guitarist here used to be more than willing to accommodate a guest’s request on the spot!” Taking advantage of the fact that I am a regular here, I deliberately cast my gaze at the boss sitting by the side: “Why, is that not possible today?”

“This …… “ The boss switched his gaze from me to Cheng Yi Chen on the stage, in a dilemma. It is plain to see that I am creating trouble, but being a regular big spender and generous tipper here, the owner of the bar would never risk offending me over defending a guitarist on a relief job.

“There’s extra charges for song requests!” Under pressure from the half coercing and half pleading gaze from the boss, he retaliated with this crude statement in a sharp tone. I shook my head internally. This Cheng Yi Chen is really too unripe, he actually thought he can shake me off by mentioning about money. What’s that little bit of money to me? I drew out $300 and slapped the cold hard cash on the table, looking at him with a smirk: “Is this enough?”

“Qin Lang, Yi Chen is still a child, stop teasing him!” Su Xiao Lu had already sniffed out the strong smell of gunpowder and is openly tugging on my sleeve.

“Okay, which song do you want to hear? I’ll sing it!” I was about to apologize to Su Xiao Lu, and call it a day, when Cheng Yi Chen’s voice regained its composure, replying me with renewed vigor.

“Let me see ……” I put on a great pretense of seriously considering what song I wanted to hear: “I’m just a brute and don’t know much about the latest songs, how about just singing some traditional folk tune, like ‘Tea-picking opera’ or something like that ……”

As soon as the words fell, the whole bar was roaring with laughter. Who would have thought that after making such a commotion, I would be requesting for a grandma’s love song? Everyone’s eyes fixated on Cheng Yi Chen for his reaction, his face turning pale one min, and blushing furiously the next. The audience’s interest are now roused, eager to see how a tender youth would deal with this ancient song that even a forty year old aunty would find too old-fashioned.

“Why? Do you not remember the lyrics?” Seeing his dumbstruck look, I was in quite a mood to elevate the hilarity of the situation: “I can recite it slowly for you ……”

Trust me to have such good memory, that I was able to suppress my laughter and recite those age old lyrics. With every word, one could see how Cheng Yi Chen’s face turn another shade paler, and the laughter that were suppressed underneath the audience slowly boiled over. After I finished reciting the whole song, a burst of laughter exploded across the floor. After that, everyone went silent again, waiting patiently for Cheng Yi Chen. He remained relatively still on stage, his fingers mechanically sweeping the strings of his guitar one by one, his eyes slightly closed, eyelashes fluttering softly, mumbling quietly as if something was brewing in his mind.

Poor kid, he’s not scared out of his wits, is he? I shook my head darkly. Who asked you to be so obnoxious, otherwise I would have held myself back earlier, and saved you from losing face under the limelight!

I searched my own conscience and wondered if I have gone overboard with this child. Squinting my eyes at Su Xiao Lu who is clenching her teeth and bitting her lips, I am afraid she has never encountered a scene such as this before.

“If you really can’t do it then I won’t insist on it!” Seeing Cheng Yi Chen being in a trance-like manner for a while now, I was ready to call for a truce. I picked up my jacket and stood up, not forgetting to add, “Also, I suddenly remembered that the song you just sang was Mr. Children’s Birdcage, isn’t that right? I’ve collected all their albums and singles, you can come over and listen to them if you want, I won’t mind!”

All right, I’ve said my piece, and I feel good about it now!

In a smooth mood, I held my hand up to Su Xiao Lu, and glanced towards the stage, ready to leave in style.

“Wait a minute!” Cheng Yi Chen suddenly called out loudly, his eyes had opened wide betraying no signs of being intimidated, his tone full of pride: “Don’t be in a hurry to go, did I say I’m not singing?”

Huh? A little taken aback.

I let go of Su Xiao Lu’s hand and approached the stage with great interest, making an appearance of getting ready to listen – God knows what this kid is raving about? Don’t tell me you are going to break your vocal chords yodelling those high octave mountain folk songs just to get back at me. The thought of that was enough to make my hairs stand, and I swore if he were to start that melody you hear grandmas humming all day from the next door when she is in a good mood, I will immediately escape from here.

A few soft rhythms rang out and he actually started singing. The lyrics are the same, but the tune is completely improvised. In just a few short minutes, he actually reworked the earthy mountain song into the style of the R&B genre.

That’s brilliant!

I never thought an old folk tune could be sung this way after being modified! The lyrics are straightforward and beautiful, the melody is soft and flowing, and the voice of Yi Chen is clean and touching. Su Xiao Lu gently hugged me from behind, her face on my back, soft as water. It seems all who were present are not just impressed speechless, but are deeply moved as well.

I stood there mesmerized by the sight of Cheng Yi Chen’s playing, wearing his heart on his sleeves right there on the stage, and felt something different stirring in my heart.

“Well, are you satisfied?” After the applause, he asked me with his chin raised.

“That’s not bad!” I nodded quite sincerely, “If you continue to perform in this restaurant, I’ll be sure to drop by often!”

“Wait a minute!” He hurriedly put down his guitar and walked over to me.

“Why?” I asked with some curiosity. Thin beads of sweat seeped from his forehead and his lips were red with post-performance exhaustion. The obvious difference in the sizes of each of his eyes revealed an undisguised condescension. It seems that despite succeeding in reversing the awkward situation he was put under earlier, the fact that he was forced to play against his will is still making him unhappy.

“My tip!” He declared in a raised voice.

“Oh! I almost forgot!” Amused, I picked up the money. This proud boy, still trying to get back at me by making my heart ache? Did he really think paying $300 to hear a song from him is too high a price? On the contrary, I thought it was worth every cent.

“With this money, you can get an original copy of ‘Six Ugly’ by Direngrey. It had just arrived, I’ll recommend you to get one, it’s great!” I watched him staring at me as I smiled and gently shoved the money into his hand. His mouth dropped open as if he wanted to say something, I waved my hands dismissively, pulled Su Xiao Lu along, and walked away quickly.

A Round Trip to Love V4 Prologue

Due to mechanical faults, the departure of the plane was delayed by nearly two hours, further compounded by a turbulent airflow midway through the flight, it was late at night by the time it wobbled its way back to land.

The spacious airport lobby is brightly lit, and the exits are bustling with people. Every face are filled with excitement and anticipation, eagerly awaiting the arrivals of families and/or friends. Observing this spectacle before me, I sashayed my way along the aisle. I finally squeezed my way past touching scenes of warm embraces with my light travel bag, leaving behind these scenarios that does not belong to me.

The automatic glass doors constantly opening and closing does nothing to help preserve the warmth provided by the heater inside the airport terminal. Once I emerged from the hall, the wretched cold hit me with a placard that yells “Welcome to Xiamen!” Damn it, it seems I underestimated this city’s unpredictable temperature fluctuation. Just this morning someone told me she could wear a short skirt on the street, a mere twelves hours later, my thin fleece sweater is no protection against the cold, my sneezes coming on one after another.

Glancing at my watch, I regretted doing such a good job out of keeping my travel plans low-profile. As I was debating whether to dial Shen Chao’s number on my phone to get him to come pick me up, a luxury Honda drove near me, blaring its horn, followed by a pair of blinding headlights directed at me straight on. Who the hell? How fucking rude! I frowned, but when I noticed the familiar face sticking out the window of the driver’s seat, I almost jumped out of my skin in surprise.

“Qin Lang, you son of a bitch, you know to come back! That’s really not on, not even telling me exactly when you will be arriving, making me spend the whole afternoon waiting here, only to find out that your fucking plane got delayed, that really sucks!” Filthy words are still spilling out of Shen Chao’s mouth while I try to recover from the pleasant surprise. He jumped out of the car, scurried his way over to my side in three big steps, and I was enveloped into a bear hug.

“Shen Chao, you’re really a living god, you could figure that that I am arriving today!” I started fawning on him, rubbing the frozen snot onto his shirt: “This damn weather, how come it turned so cold all of a sudden. I was considering making a call to you for help. It seems that our brotherhood is already on a telepathic level, and you’re here before I even ask!”

“Save it, you still dare to say all these?” My skills at flattery is apparently not at a mastery level, as Shen Chao slammed a heavy fist on my back, making me grimace in pain. “If you hadn’t called Xiao Lu this morning to ask all those suspicious questions about what the weather condition is like today, and if she isn’t clever enough to catch on to it and figure out you might be back today, where would I have gone to collect your body?”

I laughed, then stared mockingly at Shen Chao’s face asking nonchalantly, ”Xiao Lu? Calling her so intimately? She told you I was coming back today? Looks like you two are pretty close. Aren’t you committed to the principle that a leaf doesn’t stick? Tell me honestly, when did you get this leaf to stick to you? And you actually kept it from me? Hmph!”

This counter attack was effective as Shen Chao’s face instantly rose a bright red, stammering to give some excuses when a crisp female voice rang out.

“Come on, it’s so cold out there, if you two want to make a scene, do it in the car. Qin Lang I’ve brought a coat for you too. Shen Chao and I have been waiting all day for you, we are starving, let’s go for a meal first!”

“Jesus! Xiao Lu, you’re here too? Shen Chao you’re a lucky bastard!” I winked at Shen Chao, took the coat Su Xiao Lu was holding and draped it over myself, then quickly shuffled inside the welcoming warmth of the carriage.

“You two buddies talk, I’ll drive!” Su Xiao Lu grinned at me, then nodded towards Shen Chao, opened the front door and switched over to the driver’s seat.

The car weaved smoothly through the night traffic, a series of familiar landscape flashes past, huge and small buildings interspersed in a mixture of light and darkness.

“Qin Lang, how long will you be staying this time? Any particular plans?” After some casual conversation, Shen Chao asked in a cautious manner.

I opened my mouth, but found that there were a thousand answers I could have given to that question, but all are caught in my throat. I smiled with some ambiguity and shook my head. Seeing my reaction, he stopped pursuing, sighed softly and turned his head to look out the window.

In this short period of silence, the car drove into the city. Xiamen city is unapologetically urban, the luminous cityscape testament to its prosperity. It is beautiful even in the middle of the night, vehicles rushing along creating twisting threads of light intertwined together to form a magnificent mess.

“Qin Lang, you haven’t been back for more than a year, what do you want to eat?” In the end, it was Su Xiao Lu who broke the silence first and asked me with a smile meant to lighten the mood.

“I’m okay with anything, it’s Shen Chao whose the foodie!” I smiled back and patted the person seated next to me.

“Where else? To Music Kitchen of course!” Indeed when it came to the topic of food, Shen Chao’s enthusiasm immediately came to life: “A few years ago after I recommended the place to Qin Lang, he dragged me there once a week to eat the steamed crab cakes.”

“Did I?” I saw Su Xiao Lu smirking back at us from the rear view mirror, and I deliberately made fun of Shen Chao, “Don’t make excuses for your own gluttony, your figure is not too bad, our Xiao Lu won’t mind!”

“Of course you did!” He jumped to his own defense: ”You were there so many times the owner of the restaurant practically treated you as family. Also, weren’t you bent on bringing Yi Chen there ……”

He cut himself off mid-sentence, the emptiness left behind from the unsaid words had him biting his own lower lip nervously. Everyone was instantly silenced by the utterance of this name, and the only sound remaining in the car compartment is the song SUKURA by Utada Mitsuki playing from the stereo. Shen Chao awkwardly spoke up again: “Qin Lang, I …….”

I shook my head, indicating that he’s alright, but after just a short time later, I could not stay quiet any longer and looked up at Su Xiao Lu: “How has Yi Chen been these past two years?”

“The one who left is you, not him, and he wasn’t in hiding, I am pretty sure if you have the desire to find out about him, it is not a difficult task.” Su Xiao Lu’s said in a low voice, but did not turn her head back. She is a smart woman, and she knew what to say at a time like this.

Have the desire to find ……

Yi Chen, when have I not have the desire to find you? Since the very beginning, I were the one who is always looking for you. Those multiple misunderstandings, twists and turns, and heartbreaking turmoil, how do I find you in the midst of all this?

The track playing in the car is now ‘A.S.A.P.’ By the same singer, her urgent and vibrato voice digging frantically at my memory.

“As soon as possible ~ As soon as possible ~”

Yi Chen …… Cheng Yi Chen.

I have given myself so much time to forget you, is it enough? Is it enough? What can I do even if it is not? What can I do even if I have to carry on without you?

Why does the memory of your arrogant face shouting at me sneak up on me at every possible chance, when I have already buried you deep inside an obscure place?

I give up, I admit I have lost okay? Nearly two years had past since you callously told me to fuck off, yet now, l cannot help but come back to this city where I last spent time with you, just to relive some traces of our past.

Along with the tumultuous lyrics of the song, that stubborn little face floated in and out of my vision, vividly pulling my memories back two years.

It happened about two years ago ….. but counting from the first day I met him, the precise period is two years, eight months, and forty-two days ago.

I was in my senior year. The young Yi Chen was Su Xiao Lu’s schoolmate, and Su Xiao Lu, with her long ponytail, is not as sophisticated and mature as she is now, but just a chick I picked up while I was in the ‘game’ at that time……

A Round Trip to Love V3 C10

“You, the older you are the less affectionate you get.”

He rolled over and pressed me down, I sink into the soft bed, messing up the sheets as I squirm under his weight, gasping for air.

“You used to be so lovey dovey and clingy to me, where has that gone? You were also a sneaky fellow, always waking up before me to steal kisses from me ……”

“When did I ever do such a thing!”

“You dare to deny it? You kept kissing me all over my face while mumbling ‘Damn you, why do you have to be so handsome?’ Now tell me whose the one who did that, isn’t that you?”

Heat spread through my face and into the roots of my hair, no doubt the blush making me red to my ears: “…… What, when did that happen, you must be mistaken.”

“Oh, you still won’t admit it,” he spoke up in earnest now to defend his claims, “one time we had a fight, you were the one who couldn’t bear the cold war anymore and seduced me at night. Come the next morning you deliberately ignored me again and only reluctantly let me hug you when I was about to leave for work. You’re the best at pretending to be aloof, you dare to deny it?”

Old stories uncovered and exposed, I have no face left, yet with an undying determination to win the argument I insisted: “Nonsense, that bit of trifle from decades ago, how can you remember in such details, it must be all made up …….”

“Of course I remember,” he answered, the teasing tone replaced with a seriousness, “When it comes to you, I remember every single thing.”

“How can I forget? You were never in my life, but you were always in my heart.” His confessions always came out clumsy and never pretty, but not this time: “I will dig out a bit of memory to reminisce everyday, they were the only things that pulled me through the hardest times, but still it gets too unbearable sometimes ……..”

“Those days were really tough, I hope I never have to experience it again ……” He looked at me with sorrow gleaming in his eyes.

I know now that this man cries not because he is weak, but because he had stayed strong for too long. I cradled him close, and I swore in my heart never to let him suffer alone again.

The bookstore soon went into liquidation. Although it was not making much of a profit in the first place, but it served adequately as my only form of making a living, so the decision to let it go is not a trivial matter, causing me to lose several days of sleep.

As I toss and turn in bed, Lu Feng understood my insecurity, assuring me with gentle caresses on my head: “Trust me, I will handle this well.”

I know he wants me to entrust myself to him, but no matter how whole-heartedly I embrace our relationship, I simply could not do that. The mature me refused to be blindsided by love. I cannot possibly feel safe without a way out and handing my life completely over to him.

The sale of the bookstore was handled entirely by him, his style of conducting business transactions clean cut and swift. It was more of a disposal, like how he threw away the old furniture in my apartment when he moved in.

This time, I am really left with nothing except him.

I have always looked forward to the day I can sleep until I wake up on my own, without the help of a blaring alarm clock. And then spend the day reading a book or watching the news or do some flower gardening. Now I can say that this day had come, yet I became too restless.

No company would hire a new recruit of my age, and my record of managing a bookstore had been all but dismal, not to mention my inflexible brainpower. What if, there comes a day when he tells me to leave, then what can I do to support myself?

Maybe I can apply to be a nursing staff, I am caring, patient and responsible …… how about this position as a door receptionist, surely this would not be too taxing for me …….

Before I knew it, I have collected bits and pieces of employment ads, keeping them for reference. He found them by accident one day, his face darkening as he immediately understood my intention. Without questioning me, he kneaded them all into a big ball in his hands and threw them offhandedly into the nearest bin. I was scared into silence by his anger. No fight ensued, and we never spoke of it again.

One night after making love to me, I laid in his arms with a sore back after. I was unable to sleep pondering how best to approach this subject to him, letting out soft sighs. Thinking that he had fallen asleep, I suddenly heard him speak: “Do you really want to work?”

“Well …….”

“You know you really don’t have to, it’s easy for me to support you, and it’s what I should do.”

“I understand …….”

“I’d be worried if you were out there suffering.”

“…… It’s just a bit boring to stay at home.”

That was not the heartfelt truth. He took in my excuse and let out a long sigh.

The next morning, he took me with him to the office.

These days, he hardly turn up at the office in person, only showing his face when necessary. Now he drives me to work daily and stays cooped up in the office with me for the full working day. My work station is located at the corner of his vast office, the absurdity of it rather comical.

My responsibilities consisted of typing up some random documents that are neither urgent nor in dire need of absolute accuracy. Miscellaneous tasks such as brewing tea for him, tidying up his office, watering and trimming the few potted plants, providing him with a kiss or two once the door is shut are part of my job scope too.

It suffice to say that I am about as useful as a rice bucket.

However, to be able to see him every time I turn my head around, and to think that he is willing to be stuck in this boring building just to be with me, makes me feel secretly delighted.

Those female personnels who are qualified enough to enter the President’s office would find any excuse to get close enough to admire the mature, handsome and charming boss. Since my appointment, they now have the added reason to ogle at the odd addition, adding to their fodder for gossip in the pantry.

“What exactly the hell does he do?”

“Nobody knows ……. he looks so unnecessary, but it seems the boss regards him as someone important.”

“Why is that? Maybe he comes from some solid background?”

“According to HR, he’s just a run of the mill guy, nothing extraordinary ……..”

They are making me out to be a fraud, and perhaps I am.

“Heard the boss has stopped fooling around?”

“How can that be, when has he ever been single, his lovers are countless.”

“My husband told me that the boss of our company ordered a pair of custom made rings from them. Both rings to be made in men’s style, isn’t that unbelievable?”

“Your man is such a big mouth. Our boss only likes beautiful boys, so it must be for one of them. And yes, unless we change our sex, we never stood a chance.”

“Oh, I’m still dying of envy though, I wonder who’s the lucky one ……”

I, a man in his forties, not a beautiful young boy no matter which angle you view me from, walked past them in silence.

Later in the day, during a meeting, I sat next to him in the position of ‘Special Assistant’. Amidst the intense discussion, I used a notebook to hide my face as I dozed off behind it.

It had become a habit of mine, for as soon as afternoon comes, I will get sleepy and tuck myself in on the couch in his office for a nanny nap. Missing my usual nap time due to this important meeting, I had to resort to sneaking one in. Nobody would notice anyway, as no one would require my ‘professional’ opinion.

A chilling silence made the surrounding air temperature dip by a few degrees. Even a dozing me could sense the tweak in the air as I woke up in a start and made a quick assessment of the situation, and it turned out that the big boss is fuming mad.

Everyone was on tippy toes, a mere “hum” and a raised eye from him had everyone holding their breaths in horror, and no one dared to make another semblance of a noise.

He is indeed deserving of the reputation of being a no nonsense terror boss.

I have never forgotten his ability to instill fear in others. He is not your friendly and approachable boss, his business tactics to get himself thus far are not build on a foundation of kindness ……

That much is clear to me, having been at the receiving end of his wrath multiple times.

As the only person in the room not on tenterhooks, I tried to disguise the fact that I was not paying attention, or worse, drifted off, by performing my usual duty of topping up his cup of hot tea. In a split second of distraction, my hands slipped and the tea kettle shook a little, and a minute amount of hot tea splashed over my pants.

The water was nowhere near boiling point, so the slight exclamation I made was more of an instinctive sound rather than a yelp of pain. However the effect of it was no less than a cannon being shot in a conference room where the atmosphere was tensed to the highest point. All eyes that were originally staring at their own noses trained on me in a second.

Everyone stared at me with a dread that reads: “Thanks for taking the heat off us, you’re dead now, RIP.” Some kinder souls had more sympathetic eyes, feeling sorry that my clumsiness had caused the limelight to fall on me.

“Is it hot? Are you hurt?”

“I’m okay ……”

“Let me see.”

“No, no need!”

“What are you all staring at? Get out, meeting’s over!”

“ ……”

In a flurry of activities, a room full of people were emptied in a matter of seconds.

His reaction was over the top and totally unnecessary. Now he has given them more reasons to question my existence and poke at me behind my back, my spine would be broken before I know what’s going on. He had the decency to be ashamed after being chastised by me.

“You’re pretty scary when you’re mean.” I said in conclusion. Temperamental and irritable, I am living with a dormant dragon. The likelihood of him spurting fire out of his mouth and send me flying with a swipe of his claws is a real one. I may be the one sharing a bed with him, but there might come a day when he forgets himself, and rolls over crushing me under.

“I will be gentle with you.” His demeanor is that of making a solemn promise.

I smiled brightly while relating to him, “I overheard them talking in the pantry, I don’t think they will ever figure out that an old man like me can actually get the mighty Mr Lu to even take a second look at. I must have run into my lucky stars to be the chosen one, just like a male Cinderella, to make them feel so envious ……”

“Do you really feel this way?” He looked down at me seriously.

“…….”

“Do you really feel you ran into good luck?” He smiled a little, but his brow was full of a certain regretful grief, “Being with me ….. do you really feel lucky to be the one for me?”

I felt a hot sting behind my eyes, and I quickly lowered my head.

He did not expressly say it out, but I understood it all.

We are not Cinderella and the Prince, but two old men exhausted by the cruel twists and turns of fate in our lives.

From exuberant teenagers experiencing our first love, to middle-aged men with tired and frail hearts.

In which fairy tale is there such a price to pay for a happily ever after?

“I think I’m lucky,” I gave him a wide smile, “in the end we made it back to each other, and we still have plenty of time between us, won’t we?”

“Do we?” He questions, but he seems relieved at my answer as his brow relaxed a little, before another frown appeared immediately: ”Wouldn’t it bore you to death to accompany me in the office everyday? Always staying put in this city all the time, isn’t it getting a little meaningless?”

“…….”

“Xiao Luo has grown up, I’ve also been slowly teaching him about the business. After I have passed on the reins to him, I’ll be able to keep you company everyday, we can travel and go wherever you want, just the two of us …..”

“Not at all,” I interrupted him with a laugh, “I am not bored at all. It’s the same everywhere I go, as long as I get to see you.”

“Really?”

A bit of soft euphoria.

I let out a light “hmmm” as I reached out and grabbed his fingers. Only time will allow us to stop mourning for a past that cannot be undone. For now, I can only shift my eyes to the side before I blink, hoping that he will not notice the lone tear tracing down my cheek.

A Round Trip to Love V3 C9

I don’t give a crap anymore. Nothing and no one is going to stop me from loving this man. Not Wen Yang, Zhuo Lan, Yi Chen or Qin Lang. Not for pride, backbone, hate, or guilt …… All these will be tossed out of my head.

My most precious person, he has already become as lamentable as this, what else is there that I cannot willingly forsake for him?

What can be more important than sheltering him from more pain?

In my heart I retract all the bad things I ever said to you. I should have given you hugs instead of cold eyes, communication instead of condemnation. I want to give you back the love I deprived you of, the promise of happiness we made to each other, the years that we wasted being apart. I just wish to be by your side, so that I can.

“Lu Feng, Lu Feng ……”

“What’s wrong?” The initial shock that made his body stiff passed, and he kept caressing my head, as if he did not know how else to soothe me, only asking me over and over, “What is it?”

“Can I ……” I gripped him tightly, trying to steady my trembling voice and keep it from being so hoarse, “Can I …… stay by your side?

He went quiet and his hands stopped.

“I will just stay with you …… I won’t ask for any more than that, only to be by your side ……”

No response.

This time I plucked up my courage and took the initiative to cup his face in between my hands, forcing him to lock eyes with me.

The sight of his dark lashes brimmed heavy with tears send a wave of emotional pain ripping through my heart again, and I wept.

“Look, I’ve become an old man who can cry too.” He laughed, but it only made me cry harder, my shoulders heaving.

At this point, who or what else in this world can make me give you up?

“Is it okay?” I whispered, the eyes looking back at me are gravely serious.

I inhaled a deep breath and raised my head to press my lips against his, tasting the briny tears that had dripped to his mouth, the thought that he too can shed tears tugged at my heartstrings.

The touch of his long and soft lips left me stunned by my own desire, and I felt him tighten his arms around me. The feeling of being strangulated by his strength is not an exaggeration, but I would have died with no regrets even if all my bones are crushed into powder.

In my lifetime, these kisses were my salvation and my torment. I lived for them and I would die with the memory of them on my lips. From the moment of our first kiss a part of me knew that I will be dedicating my life to this man.

It had been a long time since I felt this myself surrounded by love in his arms, and I have forgotten how it felt like to hold him right back.

Now I remember it all too clearly.

Even if I close my eyes now and never wake from this bliss, I will be happy.

As our lips crushed together, the kiss deepened quickly. His mouth was so warm, his tongue lapping at the corner of my mouth. Our heartbeats and mingled breaths quickened, and the kiss which I wanted to take the initiative in ended up with me opening my mouth and accepting his lead with a low moan.

I remember the way he makes out with me, first the lips, then the tip of my nose, up to the forehead, nibbling kisses all over my face. Kissing all the way up to the hairline, then trailing its way to the chin, followed by the neck, the nape ……

I felt the heat of his lower body, the hardness between his legs, which I know all too well as a man myself, giving me goosebumps, the aggressive sucking on my lips and neck made my own member swell up.

Gradually unable to support the weight of him as he pressed himself even closer, we tumble onto the bed. The passionate kisses and caresses came naturally, but I am still unable to suppress the rising tension.

It has been too long since my body felt this way. When his hands dig under my sweater, his fingers rubbing across the pointed tips on my chest, I helplessly tensed my upper body, panting and digging my fingers into the flesh of his shoulders.

He kept stroking until my whole body was on fire before he straightened up, and I watched him intoxicated as he began to undress, drunk at the sight of his manly beauty.

Staring at his bare, beautifully proportioned body, my chest began to heave up and down uncontrollably. My mind was hit with a lust so strong, I could not move my eyes away even for a split second.

For a forty five year old man, the way he looks, is really way too young. Time had given him an unfair advantage of discounting a decade off his appearance.

His face is still that well-defined handsomeness, his limbs slender and powerful, his shoulders straight and broad, his waist so toned that it is impossible to see a hint of flab.

Watching the well-built curves of his muscles and his large physique, my heated body suddenly chilled to the bone.

My body pale in comparison to his by a lot, really, a lot.

Compared to him, my body is ridiculously thin and shriveled up …… totally unpresentable.

Initially, I too looked like the typical forty year old man, but after a year of being in hospital, I was left emaciated. Our age gap of four years is an unchanging fact, but now it seems I have not only caught up to him, but overtaken him to become a scrawny old man.

If we look equally bad, then perhaps it doesn’t matter.

But he maintained himself so well.

My visible ribcage and deep sunken abdomen will surely repulse him.

The sweater was lifted up from my head, and the shirt underneath was about to follow suit. I began to resist, clutching at my lapel and refusing to let him take it off.

“What’s wrong?”

I didn’t make a sound, and didn’t know what to say, rigidly covering back the exposed area to hide it from his sight.

“You are not willing?”

His crestfallen voice made me feel a pang of sadness.

“I just want to wait a while longer ….. give me some more time.”

Maybe I can do some workouts, while there are no telling how long it would take to actually see a difference, but surely it would still be better than how I look now.

“Why?” He did not let go right away, still clutching on to my arms, “Didn’t you say …… you want us to be together? Or do I revolt you?”

“No!” I really wanted to hug and reassure him seeing his disappointment.

“So …… it’s me you’re afraid of?” He is still trying hard to speculate, “I promise I won’t make it painful for you, really ……”

“It’s nothing to do with you,” I argued vaguely in his questioning gaze, “It’s just that I suddenly feel a little unwell, let’s leave it to next time, next time we’ll …….”

“Where are you feeling uncomfortable? Is it bad?”

I paused and could not find a reply, he looked at me for a while as understanding sunk in. He retracted his hands, and did not speak anymore.

“I’ll take a shower.” He whispered after we sat face to face for a while, and then stood up beside the bed to straighten his half- unzipped pants, and re-buckle his belt.

His silence made my heart ache all over again. What’s with all my self-righteous pride? Even if I let him see this old ugly body and embarrass myself, it still beats making him sad.

“Lu Feng ……”

“Um?”

I wrapped my arms around his waist, pressing my face against his abdomen: “I …… I’ll do it for you with my mouth.”

He stood there stunned for a moment, then raised his hand to touch my head, “Hey, isn’t that what you dislike the most?”

“As long as it feels good for you ……” I unbuckled his belt, “I ……”

“Silly.” He grasped my straying hands in one of his, while the other hand flicked my forehead hard, “Do I want to make love to you just to satisfy the lower half of my body?”

“…….”

“I want to make love to your whole body,” he held his breath, his voice barely controlled but gentle, “It’s okay even if I don’t enter you, if you don’t want me to.”

I buried my head in his belly: “…… Very ugly.”

“Huh?”

“My body …… is very ugly, it’s unlike yours …… it’s just that you haven’t seen it ……”

There was silence for a while, and suddenly the vision before my eyes shook, and I was being pressed down roughly on the bed, the man who hovered over me had his lips pursed tightly together, it is hard to tell from the expression on his face whether he is smiling or fuming, but his eyes were undoubtedly vicious.

The next second my clothes were ripped off before I could make any sound of protest, my pants quickly stripped off, and while I was still recovering my senses, a fiery, hard body is already pressed against mine.

My legs were forced apart and pressed against the side, and he tucked a pillow under my waist to further prod it up, lifting my thighs. Although I repeatedly said “wait a minute” in fear, the chest and abdomen which I thought would disgust him are being kissed and licked until they are bright red, even the hidden places between my inner thighs were licked all over, rendering all resistance unnecessary.

The front and rear end were wet from the relentless licking of his tongue, and as the soft, flexible, wet, hot object swam back and forth teasing, I could only squirm desperately, clawing at his hair with both hands begging for mercy, a strange sound emitting from the bottom of my throat, my erection swelling so much it is actually painful, but I could not even close my legs.

I begged him intermittently to “stop licking”, but it wasn’t until I was brought to the verge of screaming for mercy before he moved his lips away.

The legs which were pried open had become numbed. I straightened them out and relaxed for all of a few seconds before he adjusted me to a side-lying position, with one leg sitting underneath him and another leg lifted over his shoulder.

The ligaments are not used to such an ordeal, and I immediately whimpered in discomfort. It was not particularly painful but I felt sore, and I could not use the strength of my legs, so when I had a cold finger inserted into my rear, all I could do was inhale deeply and tense my whole body while clutching the sheets.

“Don’t be afraid, I’ll be careful.”

Although his tone was serious, and the words came out of his mouth in a low muffled voice, I still felt afraid.

It did not seem too difficult to get a finger into an already wet and slippery area, but I was so nervous that I instinctively tightened myself around him. That seemed to fuel him up more as he drew it back, and then pushed in again even further. My thighs tensed as the second finger probed in, the insides contracted tightly, only to be forced open by his splitting duo fingers. The feeling of being completely vulnerable to his touch and not being able to resist made me feel giddy.

Just by his wandering and skillful fingers, I had broken out in a sweat, panting hard and the reaction on the front of me is pulsating madly. When he slowly withdrew his fingers, he also lowered my raised leg slightly. I finally relaxed and turned my head to look at him.

A few strands of perspiration-damp hair hung down from his forehead, and his face, which was always coldly trimmed, now looked a little softer, but his expression was not at all gentle, but a little scary.

He sat between my legs without saying a word, his eyes fixated on mine, his hand rubbing against my hard shaft making it tremble slightly, my moans timed to his hand pumping ……

I was tortured in every sexual way possible until the middle of the night. When it ended I felt so relieved that the lower half of my body was finally empty of those almost excessive invasion. I was so numbed that I could barely feel it when he cleaned me after.

My consciousness hanging on a thread, I laid in his arms, as he repeatedly stroked my face soothing me but it could not get my head to clear up.

The only thing I could hear was his heartbeat as I leaned against his chest, as to what he was mumbling I could not really hear, and I gradually lost consciousness.

When I woke up, my first thought was – I cannot believe I can actually wake.

My head was dizzy like a hungover, but it was nothing compared to the soreness on my body. I literally could not move my legs, and I wondered blankly if I was paralyzed from the waist down.

“You’re awake?” The man whom I was resting my head on put his face close and rubbed his cheek against mine, “You slept for a long time ……”

I grunted out from my throat, a little angry and not wanting to talk.

Although the sex was consensual, and I earnestly wanted to be fucked by him, it was so fierce I felt like I had been violated instead. These are old bones he is handling.

“What, are you still tired?” Watching me move miserably, he tightened his arms around me and kissed me on the forehead, “This is my first time doing it in over a year, it’s only natural that I’d lose control.”

This is the morning after we made love, and even though I feel battered all over by the physical exertion, I decided not to be too petty, so I mumbled, “You need to treat me softer, my back hurts now, you were too fierce last night.”

Instead of lovemaking, it was more like aggressive debt collection.

“Who told you to frustrate me!” He exerted the strength of his arms around me and I actually heard some bones cackling in my body, “You know how hard it is for me to hold myself back, yet you had to aggravate me by saying those useless things, I really could have killed you.”

You very nearly killed me anyway. I thought miserably.

I argued breathlessly, “Ugly is the truth, it’s not like you didn’t see it for yourself.”

“I did see it, and tasted it many times,” he suddenly lifted the covers and took a big bite at my waist: “It looked good and tasted good….”

It is so unlike him to spurt such blatantly flirtatious words that I blushed madly.

Next the insides of my thighs were licked again: “This is the most delicious.”

I cannot afford for this to lead to something my old body will not be able to take, so I busily pushed his head away: “Don’t, don’t, stop your nonsense.”

“I want to eat again, what should I do?”

“No, I can’t anymore,” I stammered, pushing my arm against him to keep him away, “Don’t joke with me, it’s a matter of life and death ……”

Our lower bodies interlocked and the all too familiar feel of his hard erection pressing against me made the hairs on the back of my neck stand: “Hey!”

“Don’t you want it too?”

“My old bones will shatter ……”

“Then, let’s just kiss.”

“Wait, wait,” I sighed in relief, but still turning my head to dodge, “I haven’t brushed my teeth yet ……”

If I have bad morning breath and leave a weird taste in his mouth or something, wouldn’t that dampen the mood?

“Brush for?” He squeezed my chin nonchalantly and kissed me, sending electricity all over my skin by this mere touch.

Just as I thought it would not matter as we are only touching lips, his tongue squeezed in. I breathed in his exhilarating warm smell, drunk in the potency of our love. I forgot why I wanted to stop this kiss, as all I want is for it to last forever.

A Round Trip to Love V3 C8

I stood there stumped, my brain stuttered while comprehension struggled to catch up. Feeling a cough itching its way up from the back of my throat, I hurriedly turned around to walk away.

An uncomfortable heat arose in my stomach quite unlike the usual discomfort of gastric. I made my way briskly down the stairs when a middle-aged woman who looks like she could be one of the house servants came up to me and asked, “Mr. Cheng, where are you going?”

“I am heading back now.”

“Aren’t you staying the night here?”

“I have something urgent to attend to but Lu Feng he’s …… He’s busy right now. If he asks, may I trouble you to let him know that I have to leave and to send him my apologies.”

“Oh, in that case ……”

With all possible haste, I stepped out of the house. A shortness of breath caught up with me even before I reached the garden. The faint scent lingering in the night breeze, the patch of rose garden, the water lilies in the pool, the orchids and the unseasonal abundance of greenery, reminded me of the awe I felt the first time I came here, and the nervous anticipation of seeing him again.

This will be the last time I ever walk through here. There will be no next time.

I was not even aware that I have already repulsed him to this extent.

If it is inconvenient to bring me back here, why did he not say so?

And why does it matter whether he arrange the most remote bedroom for me or not, even if he had settled me in the servant’s quarters I would be equally grateful for his hospitality.

Since my brazen display of affection for him disturbs him so much, why go through the annoyance of continually seeing me? Just because he felt some kind of accountability?

He could have easily cool things off with me by giving me a courteous advice that I should exercise some restrain, as it is making him uncomfortable, surely he can trust that I will take it as it is – just a kindly reminder. And then I definitely would not do anything that might even remotely cause him to feel burdened. I would be very careful not to ever cross the line, even if that meant never seeing him again.

In a muddled state of mind, I concentrated on moving my feet forward quickly. My nose started acting up again and I sniffled twice, and coughed a few times. The path before me suddenly looked a little blurred.

Get a hold of yourself now unless you wish to lose your last remaining scrap of dignity.

“Xiao Chen!”

I have yet to reach the end of the stone gravel pavement when I heard him chasing up behind me. I jolted in shock as I realized how awkward it would be for me to see him now, yet I could not keep walking, so I stopped my feet.

He came up to me drawing for breath, the brows knitted together in a frown relaxed a little when he saw me waiting there: “Luckily I caught up to you, I thought you have left the compound. Why did you leave without a word?”

“I did ask someone to pass a message on to you ……”

“Why pass a message? Is it too much trouble for you to inform me yourself?”

“I suddenly remembered that I have some urgent matters to see to, so ……”

Not speaking, I could not see his expressions clearly as his face fell under the shadow of the dark night. After a few moments, he said: “Since it’s urgent, I’ll send you there, it will be faster.”

I waved my hands frantically: “No need!”

“Why?”

“Don’t trouble yourself, I can get a taxi just outside, it’s very convenient.”

“Is my driving skills worse than a taxi driver?”

“No of course not, I just didn’t want to disturb you, you have already rested, I ……”

“You are not disturbing me, and I am very free right now.”

Stubbornly taking our stand, we were both rigid, none giving in or willing to take a step back.

A cold silence ensued, he was the one who spoke up eventually: “Let’s not stand on ceremony anymore, come, just hop in the car.”

“Really, you don’t need to ……. Ah —“

He grasped a wrist of mine harshly, and pulled me along, his patience obviously reached its limit. He strode forward dragging me along behind him, staring into his back, an unexpected surge of anger overtook me.

Using me as a topic of entertainment between you and your lover, is it very amusing?

What’s the point of showing hospitality to a man only to turn around making him out to be a laughing stock just a few minutes later, isn’t that completely redundant?

It had been a long time since I felt anger. Every word I overheard from the phone conversation stung as it replayed itself in my head, fueling the fire burning from the pit of my stomach, rising with dangerous intensity. I gripped his wrist with my free hand, trying hard to jerk my other hand out of his grasp.

My wilful resistance aggravated him, and in the midst of tussling, our arms twisted together, before long it had turned into an actual scuffle only without any grunting sounds from either sides.

The hand he was grabbing slipped its hold on me and I was thrown out with such force that I fell flat on the ground with my face landing on the curb. A sea of blackness covered my eyes, and then a gush of pain jolted through my face as I felt a wetness rolling down my forehead.

“Xiao Chen!”

He called out in near hysteria, helping me up in a flurry of actions, apologizing profusely, saying it was his fault for missing his grip and asking me repeatedly if I was okay.

I kept my head down, one hand covering my face. That bit of anger dissipated along with the nosebleed that was slowly dripping out. The wrath disappeared as bizarrely as it came, I could not feel angry anymore, not at all.

I just want to find a corner to laugh at myself.

Bruised and winded, I mentally evaluated my injuries. An open wound on my eyebrows sending streaks of blood down, a nose bleed, and a suspicious taste of blood in my mouth. I might have bit into my tongue, as for my teeth I just hope that none have been knocked off or smashed.

” ……. Are you bleeding?”

He bent down to take a closer look at my face, but I refused to let go of the hand covering my nose and mouth, not willing to give him a reason to add on to his guilt towards me.

“I’m okay,” my voice was muffled between my fingers, “I’m really okay …….”

I didn’t know what else to say, I just didn’t want to meet him in the eye.

“I’ll just head back first …….”

My eyes glazed over with a glassy layer of tears, I am not sure why but it might be because of the pain. I assured him: “Don’t worry, I am fine to go back by myself, really, you don’t have to send me off …….”

“Xiao Chen.”

I kept my head down, concealing the extent of my injury from him and tried to walk past him.

“Let me see.”

As soon as he said that, he ripped the hand off my face and forcefully inspected the damage. His face turned green.

“It hurts, doesn’t it?” Why rub my nosebleed on the sleeve of this expensive cashmere sweater, it’s not worth dirtying it like this.

“Are you dizzy? How come there’s blood here too, teeth…… Are your teeth okay? Did you bite your tongue? What’s wrong? Am I hurting you? Where else is bleeding? Let me see …….”

“ ……..”

“I’ll call the doctor, let’s head back inside first.”

“No need …… I’m fine.” At my age, I’ll be losing my teeth in another decade or so anyway, a little sooner isn’t going to make much of a difference.

I really don’t mind, why bother calling a doctor?

He did not pay any attention to what I said as he anxiously rubbed my face with his usual rough touches. I tried to shield myself from him but he grabbed my hand and kept on rubbing, the blood finally gushed out in earnest, making me feel faint.

“What’s wrong? Did I rub too hard? He stammered, still ignorant to his own clumsiness. He hesitated for a moment, and suddenly picked me up into his arms and walked back to the house in large strides.

My body suddenly suspended in the air, the center of gravity shifted making my head tilt back dramatically. I could feel myself blacking out so I shut my eyes and could not make any further protests.

He laid me down on the bed and used a warm towel to tend to my battered face. The doctor came in a hurry and was sent away in a hurry, not being of much help.

Soon everything went back to normal and without those two clumps of cotton stuffed up my nostrils, I also look and felt less ridiculous. The man sitting next to me finally heaved a sigh of relief as he looked down at me with a steady gaze, “You feel better now?”

I replied with a soft “Um”. He relaxed his brow, extended a hand towards me but hung it in mid air, contemplating. He finally placed it on my hair, stroking: “Sorry, I couldn’t control my own strength earlier ….. please don’t be mad at me.”

This dreamlike tenderness again, I could not help but to bask in it for what it’s worth.

In the end I cannot bear to stay angry at him, so what if I was mocked behind my back, the humiliation did hurt a bit, but ……

After letting out some blood, I am all fine now.

“You really didn’t have to be so hard on yourself,” I started talking with a faint ache on my tongue, the words slurring, “If you are trying to make it up to me or something, I want to assure you that it’s really not necessary. I am not holding anything to heart so please don’t be so difficult on yourself.”

“I promise I will not bother you ever again either,” I choked the words out from the depths of my heart, “Sometimes my brain gets confused with situations, and that might have made me stare at you or act a little weird at times …… but I am still clear-headed enough to know there’s nothing between us. Please don’t put them to heart, or even think about it, just be assured that I now know not to let it happen again.”

“Sorry for all the trouble tonight, I am feeling a lot better now,” I rose to my feet, in a somewhat trance-like manner, tugging at the hem of my wrinkled shirt, “so I’ll just let myself out …….”

He did not respond, just sitting there stiffly, as if he had just heard something so absurd that he could not even think of a suitable reply, the expression on his face indecipherable.

“Goodbye ……” I sighed, immediately realizing that it is goodbye indeed. Still not getting a respond, I stepped away.

His hand tightened around my wrist, and I had just turned around to look back at him when my eyes suddenly went dark.

Covering my lips was a rolling softness, his probing mouth steeped in passion, and when our tongues touch, the back of my spine went numb. I lost all instincts to shrink back or lean closer to him, but I opened my mouth slightly and he fills it.

The brain is seized in paralysis, my body loosened to the sole sensation of being touched by him. My consciousness centers around the hot, powerful, wet, soft object that is his lips, his tongue making me sore in the insides of my mouth, his warm palm holding the back of my head, and the rest was a total blur.

I can’t describe what kind of kiss it is, but it left me breathless and weak in the knees.

When he slowly withdrew, my eyes finally lit up a bit, and I gasped in some air, desperately trying to catch my breath.

Only a moment later, my lips were drawn into a passionate kiss again, and this time it were not just deep kisses, but hard relentless sucking and licking, as if he wants to swallow me alive.

I finally twisted my head and opened my mouth to say something, but he caught up with me and gagged my lips with his again, while whispering faintly: “Shh …… Don’t talk, be good and let me do the talking …… Don’t move, just let me hug you for a while first ……”

His voice is trembling. I froze and did not dare move again.

“Is that really what you meant?”

“It is, isn’t it? I am not mistaken? …… Xiao Chen ……?

“Do you still think of me? You’d still want to …… look at me, too, don’t you?”

“Xiao Chen …….”

I let him cuddle me, not understanding what he was asking, but as I peeked at his eyes swarming with tears, my nose stuffed up again.

My waist was suddenly clasped tightly, and he rolled his head to bury itself between the blades of my shoulders as if to hide in it, somewhat timidly.

“I, was just on the phone asking Xiao Luo …… asking him what I was going to do tonight ……”

“Because I brought back the man who have occupied my thoughts day and night, but I didn’t dare to even touch him …… I wanted to spend more time with him, hoping to maybe even chat through the night with him, but I didn’t dare to even knock on the door to deliver a glass of water to find the opportunity to do that ……”

“I would give anything to be able to sleep next to him again, but the last time I kissed him he hated me for it …… if I couldn’t help myself and do more than just kissing him, wouldn’t he take off and leave me again?”

“It’s already a good thing he doesn’t hide from me when he sees me recently …… and for the first time, he was willing to go out to dinner with me. The mood and atmosphere was so good, you cannot imagine how happy I was, but my former bedmate had to appear …….”

“He is a person who loves cleanliness so much that he would not forgive me after bumping into me sleeping with someone once. And …… at that time I deliberately made out with a lot of people in front of him. Even though he didn’t mention it, I know all too well that he must have hated it so much in his heart. The thing that scares me the most now is him being reminded of it again ……. but I am so unlucky as to run into a guy I messed around with before, I’m really speechless.”

“He really got upset, and his attitude changed for the rest of the night …… But there’s been a huge improvement, he’s not as wary of me now, and would give me unguarded looks, sometimes even breaking out in a smile for me ……I think, I’m not going to be able to do this anymore …… I’m certain I’ll do something impulsive if I keep this up …… I know if I ever take him by force again, it will all be over, but holding myself back is really so hard to bear ……”

“Xiao Luo advised me to try not to see him for a few days, it might be better …..”

“But then I thought, even if I don’t sleep with him, can I just hug and kiss him, even that would be good enough …… but would he be willing to let me?”

He lifted his head and looked at me, “Will you be willing?”

“Are you still …… afraid of me?”

“Xiao Chen?”

He asked in a pleading tone, worried and cautiously.

The kind of sadness that seeped into my bones exploded out in a cascade of tears, I reached out and cradled his head hard on me, and felt a strong shudder of surprise from him.

I never thought, and never dared to believe, that it would be this way.

The Lu Feng I remember was always so domineering and arrogant, soaring above everyone else, and I never knew he can also be weak and forbearing.

It turned out …… I was the one who thought too highly of him.

That youthful, proud and tyrannical Lu Feng, that capricious and unyielding Lu Feng, the man who always pick me up indiscriminately, ripping apart my clothes when he feels like it, always rough and never caring, always confident and never diffident.

Where has he gone?

“Lu Feng, Lu Feng ……”

My voice sounded terrible, and somewhat jarring in the quiet of the house. I was crying mutely and holding him as tightly as possible to me, this person who is my life.

He is really old now. Although he still has a handsome face, only slimmer, but there are more fine lines showing now when he smiles. The toughness and strength that used to allow him to withstand anything is gone.

While I was not aware, he had already become old.

“Lu Feng, Lu Feng ……”

He who feared that he will be abandoned by me if he loses his status, he who has given up his family business to be with me, he who has travelled a long way only to find out that he will never get to see me again, he who is penniless and struggling to support himself, he who hasn’t had me by his side for decades, he who has been looking for me over and over again…….

Only to finally learn that I married the daughter of a wealthy man, had a child and lived a happy family life with her …… and that the only one who suffered through years of heartache is him alone.

He who stood by my bed for an entire year …….

He who accompanied me throughout my recovery, watching me quietly through the glass door alone outside the ward.

He who comes rain or shine to the bookstore every night to wait for me.

He who sat quietly in the hotel lobby.

He whose arm got caught in the car door and was dragged alongside the car ……

He can also feel pain. And I actually did not realize it until now.

I only knew how to feel sorry for Zhuo Lan, for Wen Yang, for my brother…….

But only hate for him.

And never once did I say sorry to him.

Never once did I ask myself what I should repay him with for twenty years of loneliness and pain.

“Lu Feng …… Lu Feng ……”

I wept for his wasted youth, for his bruised heart, and for the love that he was bereft of that I took for granted.

A Round Trip to Love V3 C7

I searched through all the pockets on me only to realize that the keys to my apartment had gone missing. Adding on to my misery is now a despondency one would feel coming home to find the roof caved in and the house under the barrage of a heavy downpour.

Mopping around in self-pity is not going to help the situation, so after some consideration, I made the decision to venture out to see if there are any locksmiths in the region

When I got downstairs, the car I had just alighted from had not left. Surprised, I locked eyes with the man in the driver’s seat, who then got out of the car, smiling curiously before asking: “I was waiting for you to turn the lights on, why have you come back down?”

“I couldn’t find the keys to the apartment, so I came down to see if I can get a locksmith nearby.”

“In that case ……” He paused, glanced around and raised his eyes to the sky and then back down at me, “It looks like it’s going to rain soon, how about we leave it for now and you stay the night at my house first. I’ll make sure someone comes and unlock it tomorrow morning.”

In an ambivalent mood, I entered his car again. I can easily recognize the feeling of depression sinking in again just a few moments ago, but when I found out he had been waiting for me downstairs to make sure I reach home safe, and that this probably took place every night without me noticing, cheered me up to a great extent.

I wish happiness isn’t such a transient feeling, because as unexpected as it comes, it always passes as quickly too. It became all too clear to me that he is making a conscientious effort to keep a distance. Throughout the ride, from embarking to alighting, he was guarded against having any physical contact with me.

He was being very deferential, and also very reserved. As if, I had done something to make him cautious.

Yes he must have noticed my shameless attempt at initiating intimacy with him earlier.

What a living embodiment of a joke I am.

I soaked in my own humiliation, the sure knowledge that he is no longer physically attracted to me engulfed my entire consciousness. I have never felt so worthless or disposable, never so wretched and cold. The torment is enough for me to want to push open the car door right then and there and fall to my death. That would be a better option than to remain in his sight.

As soon as I entered his house, without even offering me a cup of tea, he hastened to bring me to a comfortable guest room. It was very well furnished, absolutely not wanting in any area, the hospitality is impeccable, it could not be any better.

There is nothing for me to complain about this perfect host.

I was desperately trying to tend to my disarray of emotions, while he patiently asked repeatedly whether there is anything else I need.

All smiles, I assured him that everything is fine with plenty of thanks for his hospitality, etc etc, but these smiles were not lasting.

I actually wanted to cry. The tears had been threatening to spill over several times on the road.

Is giving up really so hard?

“You can call for a servant if you need anything, there’s also water and other drinks in the small fridge at the head of the bed ……”

“Okay,” I said vaguely, turning my back to him, “I heard you …… I’m tired, I wish to rest now, can you …… can you go out?”

There was silence behind me for a moment, only to hear him say in a light and hesitant voice, “Are you?” He let out a barely audible sigh, and then I heard footsteps heading towards the door.

At the sound of the door closing, the tensed muscles in my body relaxed. Slow desolate tears immediately ran down from my unblinking eyes and dripped steadily into my shirt. I used the handkerchief he gave me to wipe my nose.

Finally, great sobs racked my body. It was ugly but it does not matter, he could not see it anyway.

Even if he did, what difference would it make.

My chest was a pit filled with self-loathing.

Dismal images floated before my eyes: my brother’s disappointed face outside the car, Qin Lang’s sad smile when he dropped me off, Wen Yang pleading with me to ‘Come back home’ time and again, Zhuo Lan’s hair turning white in the span of less than two years.

These people have suffered for me, they were all hurt because of me.

And I have never once taken responsibility for their love for me.

I am the one who let a woman who calls me her husband down, I am the one who made such a good boy who calls me his father to never be able to lift his head up high again. Even when it broke their hearts, I am so despicable as to stubbornly stay by his side, rousing the ire of everyone. Yes, I am a man with neither a backbone nor any self-respect at all. No, I am not fit to be called a father, husband or brother.

Why did I survive the shot? I should have just died.

I woke up an ineffectual man. With a brain and body about as bad as they come, without any ability to make a living of my own, no future or a promise of a future.

Exactly, what is the point?

My existence only makes everyone tired, a living nuisance, yet I had to survive with such bravado. My emotions sealed behind a mask of coping. I planned to wear it until everything was right again, because I don’t know any other ways.

Because I still have hopes for him.

Those sweet words uttered at the hospital, even how unbelievable they sounded, made my whole being feel empowered just by listening to them. It gave the illusion that even if I am a walking piece of trash, I will be cared for and cherished, and nothing else matters.

With that daydream, it is also possible for me to live happily ever after.

Sadly though, I have forgotten that I am not at that age I can dream about love, neither do I have that kind of leverage anymore.

These past decades, the sharpness that came with a bright and intelligent boy named Cheng Yi Chen had been completely watered down, what remains is just a tainted shadow of a once likable person.

Why wait so long to admit what was so blindingly obvious?

Why wait and pine for something that should have been out of my mind a long time ago?

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After a long while, I finally regained some composure. The handkerchief could no longer be used, so I had to use my sleeve to wipe the remaining traces of tears. It was only when I sat down on the bed that I felt so drained and thirsty.

What Lu Feng said before went in one ear and out the other, it was as good as I did not hear him at all, and instead of disturbing the servants, I went out to get myself a drink of water.

It can be said I have stayed here for a substantial period of time before, yet the layout of the house was still rather unfamiliar to me, I only know for sure where the main door is. I think if I keep heading straight and turning left twice, it should be …..

“Do you think I am being funny?”

Suddenly I heard Lu Feng’s voice carrying with it a trace of frustration, and that’s when I realized that I have gone the wrong way, but then again, I did find the right person to ask where I could get some water.

He was talking on the phone with his back to me, sounding like he was not in the best of mood, so I thought I had better not put myself in the line of fire and wait for him to finish the call.

“He’s here at my house tonight,” he said in an unkind tone, not really in a rage, but obviously speaking to someone whom he is close to.

“Yes, I was the one who brought him back. What are you laughing about? …… I know I shouldn’t do this, and I don’t want to …… what? What choice do I have? He can’t find the keys, do I leave him to sleep on the side of the street? …… Of course I settled him in the room furthest from mine, he should be asleep now.”

I stood there in a trance.

I would not know what was said on the other end of the line, but it seems that he could be mocking: “You, talking nonsense again, don’t be so lawless just because I spoil you ……”

That look of pure adoration sent a chill through my heart.

“Do you mean him? Well you don’t know, but every now and then, he had been revealing that kind of look, and there’s just something in his eyes when he looks at me, he probably isn’t even aware of it himself …… Of course this is making me nervous, he doesn’t even know how much it’s bothering me ….. that’s right, you know I can’t take this much longer, I am really on the verge of tipping over everyday …… Should I not see him for the next couple of days? I don’t think I can stand it anymore …… Maybe I should just avoid him for a while, in case it gets problematic ……”