A Round Trip to Love V3 C9

I don’t give a crap anymore. Nothing and no one is going to stop me from loving this man. Not Wen Yang, Zhuo Lan, Yi Chen or Qin Lang. Not for pride, backbone, hate, or guilt …… All these will be tossed out of my head.

My most precious person, he has already become as lamentable as this, what else is there that I cannot willingly forsake for him?

What can be more important than sheltering him from more pain?

In my heart I retract all the bad things I ever said to you. I should have given you hugs instead of cold eyes, communication instead of condemnation. I want to give you back the love I deprived you of, the promise of happiness we made to each other, the years that we wasted being apart. I just wish to be by your side, so that I can.

“Lu Feng, Lu Feng ……”

“What’s wrong?” The initial shock that made his body stiff passed, and he kept caressing my head, as if he did not know how else to soothe me, only asking me over and over, “What is it?”

“Can I ……” I gripped him tightly, trying to steady my trembling voice and keep it from being so hoarse, “Can I …… stay by your side?

He went quiet and his hands stopped.

“I will just stay with you …… I won’t ask for any more than that, only to be by your side ……”

No response.

This time I plucked up my courage and took the initiative to cup his face in between my hands, forcing him to lock eyes with me.

The sight of his dark lashes brimmed heavy with tears send a wave of emotional pain ripping through my heart again, and I wept.

“Look, I’ve become an old man who can cry too.” He laughed, but it only made me cry harder, my shoulders heaving.

At this point, who or what else in this world can make me give you up?

“Is it okay?” I whispered, the eyes looking back at me are gravely serious.

I inhaled a deep breath and raised my head to press my lips against his, tasting the briny tears that had dripped to his mouth, the thought that he too can shed tears tugged at my heartstrings.

The touch of his long and soft lips left me stunned by my own desire, and I felt him tighten his arms around me. The feeling of being strangulated by his strength is not an exaggeration, but I would have died with no regrets even if all my bones are crushed into powder.

In my lifetime, these kisses were my salvation and my torment. I lived for them and I would die with the memory of them on my lips. From the moment of our first kiss a part of me knew that I will be dedicating my life to this man.

It had been a long time since I felt this myself surrounded by love in his arms, and I have forgotten how it felt like to hold him right back.

Now I remember it all too clearly.

Even if I close my eyes now and never wake from this bliss, I will be happy.

As our lips crushed together, the kiss deepened quickly. His mouth was so warm, his tongue lapping at the corner of my mouth. Our heartbeats and mingled breaths quickened, and the kiss which I wanted to take the initiative in ended up with me opening my mouth and accepting his lead with a low moan.

I remember the way he makes out with me, first the lips, then the tip of my nose, up to the forehead, nibbling kisses all over my face. Kissing all the way up to the hairline, then trailing its way to the chin, followed by the neck, the nape ……

I felt the heat of his lower body, the hardness between his legs, which I know all too well as a man myself, giving me goosebumps, the aggressive sucking on my lips and neck made my own member swell up.

Gradually unable to support the weight of him as he pressed himself even closer, we tumble onto the bed. The passionate kisses and caresses came naturally, but I am still unable to suppress the rising tension.

It has been too long since my body felt this way. When his hands dig under my sweater, his fingers rubbing across the pointed tips on my chest, I helplessly tensed my upper body, panting and digging my fingers into the flesh of his shoulders.

He kept stroking until my whole body was on fire before he straightened up, and I watched him intoxicated as he began to undress, drunk at the sight of his manly beauty.

Staring at his bare, beautifully proportioned body, my chest began to heave up and down uncontrollably. My mind was hit with a lust so strong, I could not move my eyes away even for a split second.

For a forty five year old man, the way he looks, is really way too young. Time had given him an unfair advantage of discounting a decade off his appearance.

His face is still that well-defined handsomeness, his limbs slender and powerful, his shoulders straight and broad, his waist so toned that it is impossible to see a hint of flab.

Watching the well-built curves of his muscles and his large physique, my heated body suddenly chilled to the bone.

My body pale in comparison to his by a lot, really, a lot.

Compared to him, my body is ridiculously thin and shriveled up …… totally unpresentable.

Initially, I too looked like the typical forty year old man, but after a year of being in hospital, I was left emaciated. Our age gap of four years is an unchanging fact, but now it seems I have not only caught up to him, but overtaken him to become a scrawny old man.

If we look equally bad, then perhaps it doesn’t matter.

But he maintained himself so well.

My visible ribcage and deep sunken abdomen will surely repulse him.

The sweater was lifted up from my head, and the shirt underneath was about to follow suit. I began to resist, clutching at my lapel and refusing to let him take it off.

“What’s wrong?”

I didn’t make a sound, and didn’t know what to say, rigidly covering back the exposed area to hide it from his sight.

“You are not willing?”

His crestfallen voice made me feel a pang of sadness.

“I just want to wait a while longer ….. give me some more time.”

Maybe I can do some workouts, while there are no telling how long it would take to actually see a difference, but surely it would still be better than how I look now.

“Why?” He did not let go right away, still clutching on to my arms, “Didn’t you say …… you want us to be together? Or do I revolt you?”

“No!” I really wanted to hug and reassure him seeing his disappointment.

“So …… it’s me you’re afraid of?” He is still trying hard to speculate, “I promise I won’t make it painful for you, really ……”

“It’s nothing to do with you,” I argued vaguely in his questioning gaze, “It’s just that I suddenly feel a little unwell, let’s leave it to next time, next time we’ll …….”

“Where are you feeling uncomfortable? Is it bad?”

I paused and could not find a reply, he looked at me for a while as understanding sunk in. He retracted his hands, and did not speak anymore.

“I’ll take a shower.” He whispered after we sat face to face for a while, and then stood up beside the bed to straighten his half- unzipped pants, and re-buckle his belt.

His silence made my heart ache all over again. What’s with all my self-righteous pride? Even if I let him see this old ugly body and embarrass myself, it still beats making him sad.

“Lu Feng ……”

“Um?”

I wrapped my arms around his waist, pressing my face against his abdomen: “I …… I’ll do it for you with my mouth.”

He stood there stunned for a moment, then raised his hand to touch my head, “Hey, isn’t that what you dislike the most?”

“As long as it feels good for you ……” I unbuckled his belt, “I ……”

“Silly.” He grasped my straying hands in one of his, while the other hand flicked my forehead hard, “Do I want to make love to you just to satisfy the lower half of my body?”

“…….”

“I want to make love to your whole body,” he held his breath, his voice barely controlled but gentle, “It’s okay even if I don’t enter you, if you don’t want me to.”

I buried my head in his belly: “…… Very ugly.”

“Huh?”

“My body …… is very ugly, it’s unlike yours …… it’s just that you haven’t seen it ……”

There was silence for a while, and suddenly the vision before my eyes shook, and I was being pressed down roughly on the bed, the man who hovered over me had his lips pursed tightly together, it is hard to tell from the expression on his face whether he is smiling or fuming, but his eyes were undoubtedly vicious.

The next second my clothes were ripped off before I could make any sound of protest, my pants quickly stripped off, and while I was still recovering my senses, a fiery, hard body is already pressed against mine.

My legs were forced apart and pressed against the side, and he tucked a pillow under my waist to further prod it up, lifting my thighs. Although I repeatedly said “wait a minute” in fear, the chest and abdomen which I thought would disgust him are being kissed and licked until they are bright red, even the hidden places between my inner thighs were licked all over, rendering all resistance unnecessary.

The front and rear end were wet from the relentless licking of his tongue, and as the soft, flexible, wet, hot object swam back and forth teasing, I could only squirm desperately, clawing at his hair with both hands begging for mercy, a strange sound emitting from the bottom of my throat, my erection swelling so much it is actually painful, but I could not even close my legs.

I begged him intermittently to “stop licking”, but it wasn’t until I was brought to the verge of screaming for mercy before he moved his lips away.

The legs which were pried open had become numbed. I straightened them out and relaxed for all of a few seconds before he adjusted me to a side-lying position, with one leg sitting underneath him and another leg lifted over his shoulder.

The ligaments are not used to such an ordeal, and I immediately whimpered in discomfort. It was not particularly painful but I felt sore, and I could not use the strength of my legs, so when I had a cold finger inserted into my rear, all I could do was inhale deeply and tense my whole body while clutching the sheets.

“Don’t be afraid, I’ll be careful.”

Although his tone was serious, and the words came out of his mouth in a low muffled voice, I still felt afraid.

It did not seem too difficult to get a finger into an already wet and slippery area, but I was so nervous that I instinctively tightened myself around him. That seemed to fuel him up more as he drew it back, and then pushed in again even further. My thighs tensed as the second finger probed in, the insides contracted tightly, only to be forced open by his splitting duo fingers. The feeling of being completely vulnerable to his touch and not being able to resist made me feel giddy.

Just by his wandering and skillful fingers, I had broken out in a sweat, panting hard and the reaction on the front of me is pulsating madly. When he slowly withdrew his fingers, he also lowered my raised leg slightly. I finally relaxed and turned my head to look at him.

A few strands of perspiration-damp hair hung down from his forehead, and his face, which was always coldly trimmed, now looked a little softer, but his expression was not at all gentle, but a little scary.

He sat between my legs without saying a word, his eyes fixated on mine, his hand rubbing against my hard shaft making it tremble slightly, my moans timed to his hand pumping ……

I was tortured in every sexual way possible until the middle of the night. When it ended I felt so relieved that the lower half of my body was finally empty of those almost excessive invasion. I was so numbed that I could barely feel it when he cleaned me after.

My consciousness hanging on a thread, I laid in his arms, as he repeatedly stroked my face soothing me but it could not get my head to clear up.

The only thing I could hear was his heartbeat as I leaned against his chest, as to what he was mumbling I could not really hear, and I gradually lost consciousness.

When I woke up, my first thought was – I cannot believe I can actually wake.

My head was dizzy like a hungover, but it was nothing compared to the soreness on my body. I literally could not move my legs, and I wondered blankly if I was paralyzed from the waist down.

“You’re awake?” The man whom I was resting my head on put his face close and rubbed his cheek against mine, “You slept for a long time ……”

I grunted out from my throat, a little angry and not wanting to talk.

Although the sex was consensual, and I earnestly wanted to be fucked by him, it was so fierce I felt like I had been violated instead. These are old bones he is handling.

“What, are you still tired?” Watching me move miserably, he tightened his arms around me and kissed me on the forehead, “This is my first time doing it in over a year, it’s only natural that I’d lose control.”

This is the morning after we made love, and even though I feel battered all over by the physical exertion, I decided not to be too petty, so I mumbled, “You need to treat me softer, my back hurts now, you were too fierce last night.”

Instead of lovemaking, it was more like aggressive debt collection.

“Who told you to frustrate me!” He exerted the strength of his arms around me and I actually heard some bones cackling in my body, “You know how hard it is for me to hold myself back, yet you had to aggravate me by saying those useless things, I really could have killed you.”

You very nearly killed me anyway. I thought miserably.

I argued breathlessly, “Ugly is the truth, it’s not like you didn’t see it for yourself.”

“I did see it, and tasted it many times,” he suddenly lifted the covers and took a big bite at my waist: “It looked good and tasted good….”

It is so unlike him to spurt such blatantly flirtatious words that I blushed madly.

Next the insides of my thighs were licked again: “This is the most delicious.”

I cannot afford for this to lead to something my old body will not be able to take, so I busily pushed his head away: “Don’t, don’t, stop your nonsense.”

“I want to eat again, what should I do?”

“No, I can’t anymore,” I stammered, pushing my arm against him to keep him away, “Don’t joke with me, it’s a matter of life and death ……”

Our lower bodies interlocked and the all too familiar feel of his hard erection pressing against me made the hairs on the back of my neck stand: “Hey!”

“Don’t you want it too?”

“My old bones will shatter ……”

“Then, let’s just kiss.”

“Wait, wait,” I sighed in relief, but still turning my head to dodge, “I haven’t brushed my teeth yet ……”

If I have bad morning breath and leave a weird taste in his mouth or something, wouldn’t that dampen the mood?

“Brush for?” He squeezed my chin nonchalantly and kissed me, sending electricity all over my skin by this mere touch.

Just as I thought it would not matter as we are only touching lips, his tongue squeezed in. I breathed in his exhilarating warm smell, drunk in the potency of our love. I forgot why I wanted to stop this kiss, as all I want is for it to last forever.